July 11th, 2009
Helloooo United States. I hope this blog finds everyone well and you are all enjoying your summer. Happy belated 4th of July! I think being here has made me even more patriotic and thankful to be an American! I wanted to write a quick blog this weekend because basically the next two weeks I will be pretty occupied. Monday I go to a Spanish workshop for a week in Masaya with the other volunteers in my group who did not test out at Advanced at the end of training. In my town will be … Hana! So clearly, I am pretty excited. Then on the 17th…my parents will be here! Ah. What an exciting two weeks I have coming up here.
I just got done eating half of a watermelon sitting in my hammock. It is actually the coolest morning since I have been here – the wind has kicked up – must be a storm coming. It is only about 65 degrees and it feels like a spring morning – it is beautiful! Okay, here we go…
Break it down…
So a combination of factors caused me to have a slight breakdown in the health center two Mondays ago. Two people approached me in the health center (the sub-director and the woman I used to live with) to talk about the lack of work I had been doing. Also, the woman I used to be living with wanted to know if I had been spreading rumors about her daughters – saying that they stole from me when I was living with them and this was why I moved. Ahem. What. These little girls are 10 years old and are nothing but the sweetest kids – wish I could say the same for their mother. I rally disregarded this and told her that if this had happened that I would have said something directly to her. She then went on to tell me that the family that I spend a lot of time with probably invented the rumor because they like to start gossip. Blah blah blah. Anyway, the sub-director and Guadalupe told me that I am spending too much time in the schools and that I need to be doing more with the health center. It is hard enough to explain feelings in your own native language – but try it in another one. Difficult. I tried my best to explain that I did not feel utilized and this was why I was working outside of the health center. My former counterpart, who retired, Sozima, was incredibly supportive along with another doctor.
I ended up speaking directly to the health center director that morning after I got myself together. I explained that I was not away from my family and friends, the people I love most in the world – to ‘pasear’ or just vacation here in Nicaragua. That my objective is to work and form projects but that I have felt incredibly lost and without a role in the health center for a combination of factors. The reality is, that we are all learning. It is the first time I am a Peace Corps volunteer and the first time this health center has had one. Being a first-generation volunteer was part of what attracted me to Posoltega. Ha. I do believe in the long-run it will still turn out to be a good decision – but right now I am facing many obstacles and barriers to just finding a role at the health center. There are several volunteers in the group before me that do not work with the health center at all because of the disorganization and lack of work – but I am not ready to give up quite yet. The conversation went well with the director and we agreed to speak directly from now on to avoid chisme or gossip/rumors. She went on to explain that this is a part of the Nicaraguan culture and that people love to make up rumors, especially in the health center. And, naturally – who better to talk about then the random white-girl in your place of employment. I get it, I do. A lot of what I need to do is internal work – and accept that people are going to talk about me – no matter what. What matters most – is at the end of the day I can say that I am doing my best – wherever that may be – and be proud of the work I am doing.
It is pretty amazing – coming into this experience I felt like I was a pretty confident person – confident in my abilities on many levels. Being in another culture, being different from everyone else – really challenges everything you know about yourself. Especially your confidence. Everyone really is always talking about you; you really are different.
One of the best conversations I have had over the past week of processing my life here in Nicaragua was last weekend with another volunteer Jill (who unfortunately is about 20 hours away from me). The topic of the conversation was adaptation in your community. Peace Corps drills this into our heads that this is a huge part of your work – and that it is essential to sustainability of any projects or work you do throughout your two years. Although I do agree with this mentality – it is a double-sided coin. Although it is essential to be open to adapting to certain things within your community – it is equally if not more important to hold on to what you know and even more so who you are. If I made my service solely about adapting to this culture (and essentially becoming Nicaraguan) – I am completely missing the boat. Jill gave an example of when she was talking with one of the men from her community who boasts about the dozen children he has from different women. The fully ‘adapted’ person would either laugh along with the man or say nothing – as this is an accepted behavior in this culture. Jill, being Jill, said that it was ridiculous and went on to ask him how he supported them. This is not necessarily imposing another culture on this man, it is simply showing him that some people in the world do not accept this – and are actually appalled by it. I think over the past month or so I have been focusing so much on ‘adapting’ that I was forgetting about the other side of it – and staying true to myself. Although I have not condoned any pimp-daddy Nicaraguans – I have not been staying true to myself. I have not been relying on the very things that I know make me happy. Like playing sports, photography, etc. I have been focusing so much on not standing out, that I have not been fair to myself – and therefore only contributing to the feelings of lost and lonely. People are going to talk about me anyway – I might as well be doing things that I love and make me happy in the meantime. This all might so quite simple and mundane to all of you – but I cannot really explain how vital this revelation is to me completing these two years of service. I will continue to take it day-to-day but I am currently feeling so grateful for the place I am in right now. It’s as though I can feel the tides turning – except that I control this tide. I control my happiness. We are all essentially products of our own cultures, but underneath it all – we are… who we are, no matter where we are. So simple and equally so difficult to grasp.
Chichigalpa
The closest ‘big’ town in proximity to me in Posoltgea. I had always passed through it to go to Chinandgea but never actually explored the town until two weeks ago. It is … amazing! I met two nursing students the day of my ‘breakdown’ in the health center – and they immediately invited me to their town and house, etc. One of the most beautiful parts of this culture. I actually ended up having a ‘sleepover’ with them two days later and they showed me around Chichigalpa. I should have known I would like this town – it produced all of the Flor de Caña or rum in the country. Ha. It is a really cute town but more than anything I was excited that they have 5 gyms! And women were in these gyms – so crazy! It is a 25 cent bus ride to this town and about 15 minutes. We also observed a ballet class going on with approximately 20 young boys in it. This shocked and thrilled me beyond words. Talk about a serious example contra this machismo culture. We also had some of the best pizza I have had here in Nicaragua and then went to watch a basketball game in a covered court that is nicer than my high schools. The family of Juniette, the nursing student, has already asked me to move there. It would be pretty sweet – but don’t think I can pull it off. I just feel lucky it is so close! I am going there later today and will be spending the night again because tomorrow hopefully I will be joining a softball team over there! Ah! So exciting.
4th
Some other girls from my group and I went to Granada last weekend to celebrate the 4th of July. The weekend in general was the most money I have spent since being in Nicaragua – without a doubt. Granada is one of the touristiest towns in Nicaragua – and caters to gringos. Although this was a nice treat to be around some people from the U.S. and eat some fabulous food – I could not do it for more than a weekend. Granada is actually the site assignment for three volunteers. Friday I had some HUMMUS (holy heck I miss that), nachos and margaritas. Later that night we went out to a club – and it really was a club. Ha. But in true Nica-fashion it took 35 minutes to get a drink. Saturday we all went to an all you can eat barbeque to celebrate the 4th. Had a hot dog, hamburger, potato salad and green bean casserole – didn’t quite compare to my dad’s barbequing – but it was a nice way to celebrate the 4th. No fireworks – but Nicaraguans use them on a weekly basis – so I did not feel without. Sunday was the best day of all – Jill and I went to the Laguna de Apoyo which is a volcanic crater. This might be my favorite place in Nicaragua so far – it was incredibly relaxing and gave me a chance to really just reflect and have great conversations with Jill. On the ride back to Granada we met two RPVC, or returned Peace Corps volunteers. One from 2007 in the Dominican Republic and one from Brazil who served during the years 1964-1966. Seriously. We talked the entire ride back to Granada about his experience and his life currently in Raleigh, NC. He said he chose to do the Peace Corps as an alternative option to going to war. Wow. And I thought I was lucky for missing part of the recession.
Medical
So I had a few medical things that I had been avoiding taking care of – so I went to the medical office for the first time on Monday. I really will never have better healthcare than I have right now – so I might as well take advantage of it. As everything in this country – things took way longer than they should have – so I was put up in a hotel in Managua for the night. I was initially annoyed – but then realized having a night of air condition, cable and internet was not a punishment. Ha. I met some other volunteers staying in the hotel and two volunteers from group and we all went out to dinner for burritos, nachos and beers. It was a good finale to my long American weekend. I was able to skype my parents, John and Kimmy – and it was fabulous to see all of their faces. It was hard to force myself to head back to Posoltega – but it has to be done. On the micro-bus to Leon I met two girls from San Francisco who were here vacationing on their summer vacation (teachers). One of the girls will be here until August – and I will hopefully meet up with her at some point. I love meeting fun people that love to travel!
Bat cave
So my house is still going pretty well – I was without a door for almost two weeks, but I now have the most beautiful door and my own access to the house/my room from the street. The only drawback is that when it rains – water runs under the door and creates a sort of river in my room. Nothing in this world is free. Ha. I think I really like it – because when I am here I leave it open and get to be more visible to the community. Pretty much any kid from the community stops in and likes to look at my stuff and photos. Actually, Kimmy – there is a guy here that is only 15 … but he tried to make out with you via picture two nights ago. True story.
Last night I got up to go the bathroom – as always – in the middle of the night. There were a swarm of bats in the middle of the house (which is an open patio) and I am pretty sure I was starring in a Batman movie. Was ducking, screaming and maybe even did a tuck and roll. Bats are scary! Anyway, made it to the bathroom without any harm.
The only real hiccup since I have been in this house – was a few weeks ago when my good friend Abel told me that the landlady was upset about the electricity bill. I imagined that it was 100s of cordobas higher and started to feel awful. I went to her directly to talk about it (part of this custom I do not like … they are not very direct) and sort it all out before it got out of hand. She was at first defensive and showed me a copy of the bill when I did not live there to compare it to the new one. It was a whopping… 40 cordobas higher. That is two dollars. I pay her 50 dollars a month. I tried to be sensitive to the fact that every cordoba counts here – and explained that I would not be in the house two weeks out of July – but that I would also try to use less electricity. I mean I hope if nothing this story helps give you a little perspective of what a different world this is. 2 dollars more!!! To save 8 cordobas I have been walking 25 minutes to the health center since I have lived here – until now! Now I have been riding a bike and it is sooo much faster and more fun. Ha. I was going to buy one – but Abel has offered to let me use it whenever I want – so I am gonna let this play out and see how it goes. So far so good. Anyway. The conversation ended well – and she said she understands how hard it is to be away from everyone you love –and I encouraged her to talk to me directly about any problems she has. Because Abel is always trying to speak in English to me – I think she got the impression that I do not understand a lick of Spanish. I assured her that I can understand what she is saying – and it would be better to speak directly. Hopefully we nipped that in the butt before anything serious occurred. Like me having to find a new place to live. Ha.
Yesterday I played softball and soccer for a total of 3 hours – and my entire body is hurting this morning, and I … love it! Ha. It feels great. We played right next to a river with the volcano in the backdrop of our game. Oh, and I may be out of shape but I can still got it. Hit a double with the wooden bat made with a machete right before the game.
I love you all so much and I hope you all know how much I think about you and how THANKFUL I am to have all this love and support pushing me forward and holding me up. Miss you all more than you know <3 December will be here before we even know it. Cannot believe I have been here for 6 months already. Days go by slow but weeks truly do fly by. Love you all.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My So-Called Life
Hello everyone! I know this is incredibly overdue but to be honest my motivation level for writing has been nil these past few weeks. I would be lying to you all if I did not admit that these past few weeks have been the most difficult of my journey so far. Nothing particular happened and this is … the problem. Ha. Never have I ever…had so much free time in my life. It really makes a person question their motivation level. Anyway, I feel that I am in a really good place right now, but still taking it day-to-day. I am going to try and get you all up to date in my life.
Mi Casa…
…Is fabulous. I posted some photos on facebook of my new room. It is now even cuter. More vibrant colors and more photos and cards of the people I love the most! The first impression I had of the woman, Alba, that I am living with was dead-on. She is so tranquila or chill. She is a really sweet woman and I think we both respect each other’s privacy. So far it really is working out perfectly. A lot of times when I come home after a day full of being culturally sensitive and speaking Spanish, I only want to be in my room, reading or watching Slumdog Millionaire for the 17th time. And she is okay with that. She has just recently started giving me lunch pretty regularly – which is super.
I have realized since moving here that I really don’t know how to cook. Ha. When I lived by myself in Wilmington, I somehow concocted the idea that I was cooking for myself. When in reality I was going out to eat a lot, living off Kashi pre-made meals, left-overs from Sunday family dinners and the occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am slowly learning here with my limited access to fruits and veggies. Breakfast I pretty much eat some fruit and cook myself some eggs. Just recently mastered hard-boiling eggs. Ha. I know…I am basically freakin Rachael Ray. I rarely have to worry about lunch. People at the health center love to feed me (see next section), Alba or basically anyone’s house I go to around midday will give me lunch. Pretty sweet. Dinner…depends. I typically go to this one family’s house and eat with them – but sometimes I just cannot hack it. I love them, but they are pretty high-maintenance and sometimes I just need a break.
The conditions of my house really are probably one of the nicest in Posoltega. The following sentences will probably shock you. Ha The rain has commenced and the roof is made out of techo which is …hard to explain. Basically a lot of wooden rectangle looking pieces of wood. Anyway, there are several places throughout the house that leak tremendously during the rain. I only have one in my room – it just happens to be right near my only … light bulb. Haha. I am not really that concerned about it – I just put a bucket under it and stay away from sockets.
Just saw my first rat since I moved in over a month ago. Cockroaches are a regular thing at night – but rarely in my room, just in the bathroom. But it is hilarious how someone’s perception can change so quickly. If I had come to this house directly when I arrived in Posoltega I would likely be complaining about these things. Now… in comparison –no biggie. Haven’t had too many problems with electricity and water. Two weeks ago we were without water for almost 24 hours which was the longest we have gone. I have some tea-lite candles which come in handy when the electricity goes out due to the most insane lightning and thunder I have ever heard.
I am really happy here and feel very comfortable with my living conditions. There are some volunteers here that are washing their clothes in the river, bringing water miles to their house to bathe, etc. Therefore… I am very aware of how lucky I am. Even in my town, there are several people whose only source of water is a well. Me = happy I am not on Little House on the Prairie.
Gordita
So. The running joke with anyone that knows me is how … curvy or Hermosa I am getting. This is actually said in a professional setting almost daily. Ha. I forced myself to step on a scale last week in the Health Center. Confirmation? Ahem. Yes. I am only about 6 pounds heavier than when I got here. But it is definitely more about the way I feel. Oh, and the fact that my pants are insanely tight. I am working on a way to rectify this situation. Searching for a gym in the nearby town. And if that fails I have empty big yoghurt bottles that I am going fill with sand/dirt and use as weights. Yeah, that’s my life. Going to buy a bike in the beginning of July, which will be necessary for my work starting in the rural communities. The most difficult thing by far is... people LOVE TO FEED ME. Ha. And it is really a culturally sensitive topic if you refuse someone offering you comida. I know, I know … I need to take care of myself first. I am working on balancing that with keeping good relations within the community. Food is such a big part of the culture here.
It is weird to have one of your favorite ‘outlets’ for frustration or hobby taken away. No one exercises here. Or at least how Americans do. There workout is the incredibly duro or hard work of their lives. Whether it is on the farm, walking 5km to high school, or carrying 12 pieces of fire wood on your head – they are always working off those rice and beans. Although I do not want to do any of the previous mentioned activities – I have to figure out some kind of outlet. My parents are planning on bringing me some balls (of sports…of course), volleyball, basketball, etc. I believe that if I show up at the park – I could get some good games started, and in return be getting some exercise. Vamos haber (new fav saying)…we’ll see. Just need to find some kind of routine that is still culturally acceptable.
Aklecia!
So my friend Aklecia came to visit May 31st for a week and it was so refreshing. It was really great timing because it was right in the middle of this rut that I had been in. Aklecia and I met in Mexico during study abroad and she is also studied in Costa Rica. For this reason, I had no doubts of worries about the conditions of my house for Aklecia. Again, how time can change someone’s perception. She admittedly said to me that she was pretty shocked at the conditions of my house and Posoltega itself. Again, something that would seemingly make me upset – comforted me. She said the most shocking part of it all was how adjusted I was to it all. I am almost positive this is a good thing. Ha. Little things like the bugs, sleeping in a mosquito net, not wasting anything, using a flashlight to go the bathroom or how I wash my dishes – all are quite normal to me now.
The people of Posoltgea embraced Aklecia just as they did me. We went to the beach for two days – and it was so wonderful. The beach really is a haven for me – I cannot help but feel at ease and happy when I am there. The week went incredibly fast – but I was so thankful for her presence. I could not have asked for a better first visit.
Also, have to mention that she brought me a crap load of stuff from my parents. Como… Peanut Butter, my rain boots, my straightner and most importantly…. EVOLUTION aka my favorite wine. 6 months without wine. Not. Normal.
Work it Out
Sooo . The best way to describe how I have felt for the past three weeks is…lost, useless, lacking in motivation (I could go on .. but I think this is sufficient). It has all been a pretty viscous cycle. My counterpart at the Health Center retired from her position as the Community Educator (which was never happening anyway). I really get along with her a lot (she is not the woman I was living with … do not even speak with her), but we were doing … no work. O sea..(or in other wards) we were just working on the Influenza, or Swine Flu. There are now cases in Nicaragua (around 50 or so) and they are putting even more resources into preventing the spread of this flu. I have continued to feel lost at the health center – (with or without a counterpart), but also felt incredibly hesitant about forming my own projects and working with other NGOs or the schools. Mainly because when I am not there they assume that I am at the beach. As much as I wish this was true – it is not.
Anyway, just this week I have decided to let go of everything that has or has not happened in the past three weeks. With or without a counterpart, I am going to work in this community. My project director came to my site on the 11th. To be completely honest, I cried during the first 30 minutes of the interview. I just could not talk about my lack of work without getting choked up. It was sort of like the levy broke, and I could not stop the flow of emotions of the frustrations of the past three weeks of my life. The project director handled it all so well – she was compassionate and understanding but at the same time but some of the blame on me. I have all of these great ideas for projects – but have been hesitating on doing anything. A lot of that has been due to the lack of the role at the health center – and my hesitancy to step outside of their and do things on my own (without offending anyone).
It took a few days after my boss left to really process everything and get myself together. To compare how I am feeling today to last week – is pretty much in a different universe. I have decided to take more control of what I do on a daily basis. Instead of just sitting in the health center waiting for someone to tell me to make a poster or mural (they think I am really artistic.. haha), I have been going to NGOs and schools to form projects by myself. It is really intimidating – but the more I do it, I know the more comfortable I will feel. Monday I start at the high school here in Posoltega and today I met someone I pretty much already consider a counterpart. She is the counselor at the high school and is so excited to work with me and is actually going to give the charlas with me at the high school (which is the whole idea of having a counterpart). I am excited and nervous to start at the high school – but more than anything, I am just excited to be having more things to do. I love being in schools – I just feel incredibly comfortable.
Feeling highly motivated after my visit to the high school and meeting the school counselor (might be fate, right dad?), I went to the health center and decided to give my first charla there. There was a group of about 10 mothers whose children have been identified as underweight or having malnutrition. I gave them a charla on … nutrition. Ha. It went incredibly well – they all participated and were so sweet to me. It was a great first charla in the health center. I gave the same charla to my 5th grade class on Wednesday and it went well also. Besides the fact that when I asked who drank coffee in the class – the entire class raised their hands in glee. They seriously give coffee to children at the age of two or less.
I can already see in the near future that I am going to be so incredibly busy that I will wish I had as much free time that I did these past three weeks. I just deal much better with a jam-packed schedule, rather than an empty one. It’s in my blood. Ha. I have been getting a lot of support from Paula (the volunteer closest to me), Elizabeth (a TEFL volunteer in Chinandagea) and Hana. Hana has actually been having a really difficult time at her site and was considering leaving me … but she is getting a new site assignment which is so amazing. As always, I feel incredibly support by home…aka my heart. I 100% could not do this without you.
Mis padres van a venir en un mes!!!
So my parents will be here in less than a month now! I cannot believe it (and I don’t think they can either) Haha. I am so proud of them and honored that they love me so much that they would come here so quickly – without hesitation. We are going to go to the only resort in Nicaragua for the first few days and then I will introduce them to the ‘real’ Nicaragua – aka my life. I will likely cry the first 24 hours they are here. Ha. No really, I cannot explain how I excited I am – I am so lucky, blessed, loved. Who could ask for more?
I love you all so much – and thank you for your strength and support that you continue to give me. To explain what the means to me is impossible. You are the strength that gets me through the most difficult of days.
Mi Casa…
…Is fabulous. I posted some photos on facebook of my new room. It is now even cuter. More vibrant colors and more photos and cards of the people I love the most! The first impression I had of the woman, Alba, that I am living with was dead-on. She is so tranquila or chill. She is a really sweet woman and I think we both respect each other’s privacy. So far it really is working out perfectly. A lot of times when I come home after a day full of being culturally sensitive and speaking Spanish, I only want to be in my room, reading or watching Slumdog Millionaire for the 17th time. And she is okay with that. She has just recently started giving me lunch pretty regularly – which is super.
I have realized since moving here that I really don’t know how to cook. Ha. When I lived by myself in Wilmington, I somehow concocted the idea that I was cooking for myself. When in reality I was going out to eat a lot, living off Kashi pre-made meals, left-overs from Sunday family dinners and the occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am slowly learning here with my limited access to fruits and veggies. Breakfast I pretty much eat some fruit and cook myself some eggs. Just recently mastered hard-boiling eggs. Ha. I know…I am basically freakin Rachael Ray. I rarely have to worry about lunch. People at the health center love to feed me (see next section), Alba or basically anyone’s house I go to around midday will give me lunch. Pretty sweet. Dinner…depends. I typically go to this one family’s house and eat with them – but sometimes I just cannot hack it. I love them, but they are pretty high-maintenance and sometimes I just need a break.
The conditions of my house really are probably one of the nicest in Posoltega. The following sentences will probably shock you. Ha The rain has commenced and the roof is made out of techo which is …hard to explain. Basically a lot of wooden rectangle looking pieces of wood. Anyway, there are several places throughout the house that leak tremendously during the rain. I only have one in my room – it just happens to be right near my only … light bulb. Haha. I am not really that concerned about it – I just put a bucket under it and stay away from sockets.
Just saw my first rat since I moved in over a month ago. Cockroaches are a regular thing at night – but rarely in my room, just in the bathroom. But it is hilarious how someone’s perception can change so quickly. If I had come to this house directly when I arrived in Posoltega I would likely be complaining about these things. Now… in comparison –no biggie. Haven’t had too many problems with electricity and water. Two weeks ago we were without water for almost 24 hours which was the longest we have gone. I have some tea-lite candles which come in handy when the electricity goes out due to the most insane lightning and thunder I have ever heard.
I am really happy here and feel very comfortable with my living conditions. There are some volunteers here that are washing their clothes in the river, bringing water miles to their house to bathe, etc. Therefore… I am very aware of how lucky I am. Even in my town, there are several people whose only source of water is a well. Me = happy I am not on Little House on the Prairie.
Gordita
So. The running joke with anyone that knows me is how … curvy or Hermosa I am getting. This is actually said in a professional setting almost daily. Ha. I forced myself to step on a scale last week in the Health Center. Confirmation? Ahem. Yes. I am only about 6 pounds heavier than when I got here. But it is definitely more about the way I feel. Oh, and the fact that my pants are insanely tight. I am working on a way to rectify this situation. Searching for a gym in the nearby town. And if that fails I have empty big yoghurt bottles that I am going fill with sand/dirt and use as weights. Yeah, that’s my life. Going to buy a bike in the beginning of July, which will be necessary for my work starting in the rural communities. The most difficult thing by far is... people LOVE TO FEED ME. Ha. And it is really a culturally sensitive topic if you refuse someone offering you comida. I know, I know … I need to take care of myself first. I am working on balancing that with keeping good relations within the community. Food is such a big part of the culture here.
It is weird to have one of your favorite ‘outlets’ for frustration or hobby taken away. No one exercises here. Or at least how Americans do. There workout is the incredibly duro or hard work of their lives. Whether it is on the farm, walking 5km to high school, or carrying 12 pieces of fire wood on your head – they are always working off those rice and beans. Although I do not want to do any of the previous mentioned activities – I have to figure out some kind of outlet. My parents are planning on bringing me some balls (of sports…of course), volleyball, basketball, etc. I believe that if I show up at the park – I could get some good games started, and in return be getting some exercise. Vamos haber (new fav saying)…we’ll see. Just need to find some kind of routine that is still culturally acceptable.
Aklecia!
So my friend Aklecia came to visit May 31st for a week and it was so refreshing. It was really great timing because it was right in the middle of this rut that I had been in. Aklecia and I met in Mexico during study abroad and she is also studied in Costa Rica. For this reason, I had no doubts of worries about the conditions of my house for Aklecia. Again, how time can change someone’s perception. She admittedly said to me that she was pretty shocked at the conditions of my house and Posoltega itself. Again, something that would seemingly make me upset – comforted me. She said the most shocking part of it all was how adjusted I was to it all. I am almost positive this is a good thing. Ha. Little things like the bugs, sleeping in a mosquito net, not wasting anything, using a flashlight to go the bathroom or how I wash my dishes – all are quite normal to me now.
The people of Posoltgea embraced Aklecia just as they did me. We went to the beach for two days – and it was so wonderful. The beach really is a haven for me – I cannot help but feel at ease and happy when I am there. The week went incredibly fast – but I was so thankful for her presence. I could not have asked for a better first visit.
Also, have to mention that she brought me a crap load of stuff from my parents. Como… Peanut Butter, my rain boots, my straightner and most importantly…. EVOLUTION aka my favorite wine. 6 months without wine. Not. Normal.
Work it Out
Sooo . The best way to describe how I have felt for the past three weeks is…lost, useless, lacking in motivation (I could go on .. but I think this is sufficient). It has all been a pretty viscous cycle. My counterpart at the Health Center retired from her position as the Community Educator (which was never happening anyway). I really get along with her a lot (she is not the woman I was living with … do not even speak with her), but we were doing … no work. O sea..(or in other wards) we were just working on the Influenza, or Swine Flu. There are now cases in Nicaragua (around 50 or so) and they are putting even more resources into preventing the spread of this flu. I have continued to feel lost at the health center – (with or without a counterpart), but also felt incredibly hesitant about forming my own projects and working with other NGOs or the schools. Mainly because when I am not there they assume that I am at the beach. As much as I wish this was true – it is not.
Anyway, just this week I have decided to let go of everything that has or has not happened in the past three weeks. With or without a counterpart, I am going to work in this community. My project director came to my site on the 11th. To be completely honest, I cried during the first 30 minutes of the interview. I just could not talk about my lack of work without getting choked up. It was sort of like the levy broke, and I could not stop the flow of emotions of the frustrations of the past three weeks of my life. The project director handled it all so well – she was compassionate and understanding but at the same time but some of the blame on me. I have all of these great ideas for projects – but have been hesitating on doing anything. A lot of that has been due to the lack of the role at the health center – and my hesitancy to step outside of their and do things on my own (without offending anyone).
It took a few days after my boss left to really process everything and get myself together. To compare how I am feeling today to last week – is pretty much in a different universe. I have decided to take more control of what I do on a daily basis. Instead of just sitting in the health center waiting for someone to tell me to make a poster or mural (they think I am really artistic.. haha), I have been going to NGOs and schools to form projects by myself. It is really intimidating – but the more I do it, I know the more comfortable I will feel. Monday I start at the high school here in Posoltega and today I met someone I pretty much already consider a counterpart. She is the counselor at the high school and is so excited to work with me and is actually going to give the charlas with me at the high school (which is the whole idea of having a counterpart). I am excited and nervous to start at the high school – but more than anything, I am just excited to be having more things to do. I love being in schools – I just feel incredibly comfortable.
Feeling highly motivated after my visit to the high school and meeting the school counselor (might be fate, right dad?), I went to the health center and decided to give my first charla there. There was a group of about 10 mothers whose children have been identified as underweight or having malnutrition. I gave them a charla on … nutrition. Ha. It went incredibly well – they all participated and were so sweet to me. It was a great first charla in the health center. I gave the same charla to my 5th grade class on Wednesday and it went well also. Besides the fact that when I asked who drank coffee in the class – the entire class raised their hands in glee. They seriously give coffee to children at the age of two or less.
I can already see in the near future that I am going to be so incredibly busy that I will wish I had as much free time that I did these past three weeks. I just deal much better with a jam-packed schedule, rather than an empty one. It’s in my blood. Ha. I have been getting a lot of support from Paula (the volunteer closest to me), Elizabeth (a TEFL volunteer in Chinandagea) and Hana. Hana has actually been having a really difficult time at her site and was considering leaving me … but she is getting a new site assignment which is so amazing. As always, I feel incredibly support by home…aka my heart. I 100% could not do this without you.
Mis padres van a venir en un mes!!!
So my parents will be here in less than a month now! I cannot believe it (and I don’t think they can either) Haha. I am so proud of them and honored that they love me so much that they would come here so quickly – without hesitation. We are going to go to the only resort in Nicaragua for the first few days and then I will introduce them to the ‘real’ Nicaragua – aka my life. I will likely cry the first 24 hours they are here. Ha. No really, I cannot explain how I excited I am – I am so lucky, blessed, loved. Who could ask for more?
I love you all so much – and thank you for your strength and support that you continue to give me. To explain what the means to me is impossible. You are the strength that gets me through the most difficult of days.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Dreaming...
Preface: I have had a pretty difficult week – and although this short little entry is completely biased, I think it became a really good outlet for my frustration this week. I am going to write more in a blog-style format this weekend about my new house, work, etc. This was just me venting and reflecting on some things I have observed here in Nicaragua. Frankly, I am going through some culture shock for truly the first time. It seems quite delayed – but maybe it is because I am finally really settling in to this new life of mine.
Although this country’s majority in numbers belongs to the mujeres (women), men here certainly have taken the wheel, and have been for centuries in this machismo society (machismo: a society, culture predominantly run by men in every aspect). Maybe I should clarify. Women here do all of the caretaking, cleaning, washing clothes, yard work, etc. This may not sound like a lot to women of my generation – but here it is duro. It is hard, it is daily and everything takes three times as long as it should.
In reality the typical Nicaraguan family (both that I have observed and read factually) starts with a barely out of puberty 15 year old girl and usually a slightly older male at the age of 20. The 15 year old girl, now-turned ‘woman’, is pregnant within months. She stops going to school if she hasn’t already – and prepares for the lifelong job of motherhood. The hombre, typically cannot find work in or around his pueblo – so he searches elsewhere. Most commonly I have found that the husbands are in Costa Rica working on farms, or fincas, or in the United States. They periodically send money back to the family for rice, beans and other essential items (you should see how busy Western Union is here). In my fairytale mind I would like to romanticize this idea of a father sacrificing everything for his family. The realistic part of me knows this is just that, a fairytale.
Although I have never directly asked any of these women I have come into contact with – I cannot help but beg the question: how faithful are these men, in a society that openly acknowledges and even accepts infidelity? Truth be told, these men likely have other families in one – if not multiple parts of the world. There is a sole two-story house in my town of 4,000 habitants. It has been told to me that this man has over twenty-five children just here in Posoltega. One of the families that has ‘adopted’ me, openly discussed that the father had lived in one of the rural communities for over a year and had another child with his mistress some years ago. Normal topic of conversation over my tortilla and cheese with the fam. In this same family – the 15 year old boasts about his four girlfriends – of which two are close friends.
So in reality, the typical Nicaraguan family is a single-mom, with at least four children. Running the household, bills, etc. until her husband comes home for a week every six months or so. When he returns she just has more laundry and more mouths to feed. Condoms here are seriously taboo and largely in part to the machismo attitude – few women demand such a thing, let alone from their husbands. They would quickly be chastised and accused themselves of cheating. Therefore, whenever the husband comes home – he likely impregnates the woman again, at best. One can only imagine how many STDs and HIV is transmitted through this dark corner of Nicaraguan culture. Women are often referred to here as ‘mi mujer’ or my woman. To be referred to as similarly as a motorcycle, a machete – someone’s property. A man’s property.
I must note that I am speaking in large, vast generalizations – and todos los hombres no son iguales. Just as in the United States, all men truly are not the same. I remember that every time I think of my own father.
Over the past week I had met a man at my regular lunch spot – and we instantly starting planning charlas and projects together. He works for the mayor’s office and presented as a very well educated and well-intentioned colleague. I would guess he is 37 years old or so – has two children and is married. All was going well until around 5pm today – when I received a text message from him telling me that I should dream of him tonight. First impressions aren’t everything.
I wouldn’t say I am bitter per say right now, just coming out of the fog of excitement when everything was new and rose-colored. This is probably a good thing – because if I went through these next two years doing that I would be in denial-land. I didn’t sign up for the Peace Corps to go to a 3rd world country and pretend that everything was pretty and perfect. This country has serious problems, infiltrated into the very depths of its existence and the problems they face daily.
It is all relevant to my life here and even more so my work. I can only hope that my work with some of the youth will help to improve some of these young women’s self-esteem – and thus avoid the vicious cycle of young motherhood, poverty and the limitations they both manufacture. The problem with poverty that has been prevalent for centuries – is that it is hard to demonstrate or encourage people to think of a future different than the one that was handed to them. When one does not see a possibility of change, why would they attempt to do anything different? This is the real problem. I suppose it is really no different than the work I was doing with heroin addicts in Delaware. If my client did not see the possibility of change – of something better – he/she had no incentive to change their behavior. Hope is such a beautiful thing – life is so dark without it. Even without knowing with certainty, hoping for something better may actually be more powerful than the change itself. It gives you the opportunity to dream.
I never thought dreaming was a luxury until now.
Although this country’s majority in numbers belongs to the mujeres (women), men here certainly have taken the wheel, and have been for centuries in this machismo society (machismo: a society, culture predominantly run by men in every aspect). Maybe I should clarify. Women here do all of the caretaking, cleaning, washing clothes, yard work, etc. This may not sound like a lot to women of my generation – but here it is duro. It is hard, it is daily and everything takes three times as long as it should.
In reality the typical Nicaraguan family (both that I have observed and read factually) starts with a barely out of puberty 15 year old girl and usually a slightly older male at the age of 20. The 15 year old girl, now-turned ‘woman’, is pregnant within months. She stops going to school if she hasn’t already – and prepares for the lifelong job of motherhood. The hombre, typically cannot find work in or around his pueblo – so he searches elsewhere. Most commonly I have found that the husbands are in Costa Rica working on farms, or fincas, or in the United States. They periodically send money back to the family for rice, beans and other essential items (you should see how busy Western Union is here). In my fairytale mind I would like to romanticize this idea of a father sacrificing everything for his family. The realistic part of me knows this is just that, a fairytale.
Although I have never directly asked any of these women I have come into contact with – I cannot help but beg the question: how faithful are these men, in a society that openly acknowledges and even accepts infidelity? Truth be told, these men likely have other families in one – if not multiple parts of the world. There is a sole two-story house in my town of 4,000 habitants. It has been told to me that this man has over twenty-five children just here in Posoltega. One of the families that has ‘adopted’ me, openly discussed that the father had lived in one of the rural communities for over a year and had another child with his mistress some years ago. Normal topic of conversation over my tortilla and cheese with the fam. In this same family – the 15 year old boasts about his four girlfriends – of which two are close friends.
So in reality, the typical Nicaraguan family is a single-mom, with at least four children. Running the household, bills, etc. until her husband comes home for a week every six months or so. When he returns she just has more laundry and more mouths to feed. Condoms here are seriously taboo and largely in part to the machismo attitude – few women demand such a thing, let alone from their husbands. They would quickly be chastised and accused themselves of cheating. Therefore, whenever the husband comes home – he likely impregnates the woman again, at best. One can only imagine how many STDs and HIV is transmitted through this dark corner of Nicaraguan culture. Women are often referred to here as ‘mi mujer’ or my woman. To be referred to as similarly as a motorcycle, a machete – someone’s property. A man’s property.
I must note that I am speaking in large, vast generalizations – and todos los hombres no son iguales. Just as in the United States, all men truly are not the same. I remember that every time I think of my own father.
Over the past week I had met a man at my regular lunch spot – and we instantly starting planning charlas and projects together. He works for the mayor’s office and presented as a very well educated and well-intentioned colleague. I would guess he is 37 years old or so – has two children and is married. All was going well until around 5pm today – when I received a text message from him telling me that I should dream of him tonight. First impressions aren’t everything.
I wouldn’t say I am bitter per say right now, just coming out of the fog of excitement when everything was new and rose-colored. This is probably a good thing – because if I went through these next two years doing that I would be in denial-land. I didn’t sign up for the Peace Corps to go to a 3rd world country and pretend that everything was pretty and perfect. This country has serious problems, infiltrated into the very depths of its existence and the problems they face daily.
It is all relevant to my life here and even more so my work. I can only hope that my work with some of the youth will help to improve some of these young women’s self-esteem – and thus avoid the vicious cycle of young motherhood, poverty and the limitations they both manufacture. The problem with poverty that has been prevalent for centuries – is that it is hard to demonstrate or encourage people to think of a future different than the one that was handed to them. When one does not see a possibility of change, why would they attempt to do anything different? This is the real problem. I suppose it is really no different than the work I was doing with heroin addicts in Delaware. If my client did not see the possibility of change – of something better – he/she had no incentive to change their behavior. Hope is such a beautiful thing – life is so dark without it. Even without knowing with certainty, hoping for something better may actually be more powerful than the change itself. It gives you the opportunity to dream.
I never thought dreaming was a luxury until now.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
One Step at a Time
Hello friends and family – I hope this entry finds you well and healthy! I first want to thank you again for your continued support; I know that it is very easy to get caught up in our own busy lives, but the continuation of your enthusiasm and encouraging words do more for me than you can imagine.
I decided to go back to writing about general topics as opposed to day-by-day blog entries. I think it is more focused and generally more interesting than a detailed description of my daily life.
Mitch.
Well I don’t mean to start with such a grave topic, but it is the first on the list. Two weeks ago I went to a community that was very affected by Hurricane Mitch in 1998 (it is also might be the highest elevation I will get here in Posoltega). It was a very interesting community and sort of exists on its own. The community is completed isolated from the rest of the municipality due to no public transportation daring to make the track up the mountain. We went up to this community for the vaccination campaign and they vaccinated hundreds of children. I quickly learned while in the community that there is no school. Can you imagine? I also observed that over half of the children were not ‘registered’. In other words, it was never reported that they were born – there is absolutely no record of them. One mother had four children without registry and also did not know their birth dates. Several children did not have names. I cannot even find words to describe what it is like to witness that. Many things were running through my mind – but I obviously said nothing. I was with Guadalupe (aka my counterpart and host-mother) and she lectured the women about how these children deserve names and registry. She went on to explain to them that it was as if the children were animals if they did not have registry.
When I first arrived in Posoltega they told me there had not been a child or maternal death in this municipality in some odd number of years. After witnessing the number of children that are not registered, there are undoubtedly deaths not being reported – because they are never registered in the first place. There was a woman from the mayor’s (Alcade) office with us who was registering some of the children (some as old as 12 years old). This problem is so large and clearly a product of poverty. I know this is so much bigger than one person – but I hope to incorporate this into my work over the next two years.
Side note: the ride up to this site, I was in the back of the Health Center truck (did I mention how the roads were?). I would like to compare it directly to the Safari ride at Disney World, but much, much more intense.
Nica-Time
So. I am beginning to think every Latin American country uses this as an excuse. ‘Tica-Time’ is what Costa Ricans say. ‘Nica-time’ is what Nicaraguans say. Basically what it all means, is that no one is one time here. I am not sure if I already told you this in a previous blog, but people actually say ‘American-time’ if they want people to be on time (although, the result will still be the same). My first experience with this was in Leon when I went to visit my friend Kenya. I got there around 2:30pm ready for a day of walking the city as we had discussed. Instead, I sat in front of a television, drinking coca-cola (we’ll talk about that later) until around 5:30pm. We went and walked around for about two hours and then I repeated the previously mentioned activities while she was getting ready for the discoteca, or club. Patience or paciencia is something that is going to continue to be a learning process here.
Regalos (gifts)
Now after mentioning one of the less attractive qualities of Nicaraguans, I feel it necessary to tell you about one of the best ones. They are so incredibly NICE. I know I already mentioned some about how people have been taking care of me here – but it really has only been increasing as days go on. I go from house to house to say hello to my friends/neighbors and end up bringing home four cucumbers, two avocados and a stomach full of two dinners. I rarely spend money on food here, because everyone wants to feed me! Hence, I am going to start exercising next week. Holy Rice!
Also, while at these people’s houses they either offer me a ‘fresca’ (juice made from Posoltega’s finest) or ‘gaseosa’(the biggest addiction here in Nicaragua…Coca-Cola). Due to several warnings about the water here in Posoltega, I am trying to limit the amount of home-made juices I am drinking and you cannot refuse a drink…therefore I have had more Coca-Cola in the past three weeks than my parents let me combined throughout my entire childhood (I don’t think they know what Diet, Caffeine-Free even is). Yuck. I have got to find a polite way to limit this consumption.
Another fun fact is that they love sopa, soup here. Every. Day. It doesn’t matter that it is 110 degrees out. Was literally sweating into my soup last week.
Time Management
Definitely need to work on that. They did tell us that our work the first three months is to integrate into our town, but I feel like people here are really quite demanding! They want to spend every single second with me (I think it is cultural – not just because I am fabulous…ha)! If I do not show up to someone’s house within two days – they think I moved back to the United States or was sick. I am seriously thinking about setting up a night with each family to avoid feeling pulled in a million directions by these families. I do not feel bad for myself at all – considering I have talked to some people in my group who are having quite the opposite problem in their towns. But for my sanity, I definitely need to work on not letting people suck hours and days out of me.
Role @Health Center, School
The health program of PC Nicaragua is very…open-ended, which has its benefits and drawbacks. The other programs, such as business and environment have a specific schedule and are assigned a specific teacher to work with. The first three weeks here at the Health Center has taught me a little something about myself: I really do enjoy some structure in my life. Especially in my work. I am struggling to find a role at the health center and do not feel an incredible amount of support from the staff. I suppose there is probably fault on both ends. I definitely need to take more initiative and just start doing things. I just finished my ‘Plan de Trabajo’ or work plan for the first three months – and I am already feeling better. I am sure nothing will pan out as planned, but at least I have a plan. Ha.
I feel so comfortable at the schools here and will start giving charlas in two classes within the next two weeks. I do not know if it is less intimidating – but I remember what I observed in Los Limones on my trip to the mountains. The way into any community is through their children. Even after visiting the schools a few times – random children yell my name in the streets. I am working on preparing my materials (with my fabulous markers and scissors) this week and I am really looking forward to working in the schools.
I won’t bore you with a long entry about the Virus that I am sure you see on the news daily. But basically, all of the PCVs were given Tamiflu in case of any occurrence here in Nicaragua – currently we do not have one case. We had a meeting at the health center about it and 45 out of the 50 people fell asleep during the three hours. Fascinating. Oh, and I did not fall asleep! Ha. They are just having emergency action plans in place, yada yada. If a case is found in Nicaragua – all PCVs will be put on ‘StandFast’ which means we will not be allowed to leave our sites until further notice. Hopefully it will not come to this! The health center is so frantic they are actually looking for patients now and finding out who has left the country in the last month and going to their house to test them. Nuts.
Highlight of the last two weeks….
MY PACKAGE CAME FROM MY PARENTS!!!! They sent it on February 25th and I received it one the 27th of April. It had Hershey kisses, peanut butter eggs, Girl Scout cookies, my favorite pair of pants, magazines and much more! I never knew how great melted peanut butter eggs were for breakfast. Ha. I have the best parents in the world!
I also received a package from Kimmers. Thanks for your ‘support.’ It is much appreciated girrrrl. I miss you more than you know.
Also, Aklecia is coming to see me!!!! She will be my first visitor and I am super excited to catch up with her and show her my new life here in Nicaragua.
In addition, I started using my Nikon camera! I feel comfortable using it here – especially when I am with someone from the town. I have started a little project for my friend Abel – who needs photos of the youth of Posoltega for the website for his project. I will post the address when I get it!
Mountains
I randomly decided to go to Esetli this past weekend to meet up with some other volunteers without really knowing how long it would take or how to get there. Weird. After a long yet beautiful ride up there, I arrived in Esteli about five hours after leaving Posoltega. I love the mountains so much, their beauty really astonishes me. I was mesmerized most of the ride. That is, until the drunk guy in the first seat got a little too drunk. He randomly got off the bus and quickly got more beer when it stopped. Twice the bus stopped for him to use the bathroom. Only in Nicaragua. We were less than five minutes from my destination when he began vomiting. Ironically, this man had a Phillies baseball hat on (which is really common here!).
A few of us treated ourselves to a wonderful Italian dinner with WINE!!! It was fabulous. Or it was just fabulous because I have been deprived of both of those. Ha. We’ll never know. It was really nice to talk to the other volunteers and see how their first few weeks have gone in their sites.
Jessie, Brad and I also went to a used clothing store that was having a big sale. I got a Rampage bathing suit, two black shirts and a t-shirt that says ‘East End’ for a total of $6.00 U.S. dollars. Annnnd I felt guilty for spending that much. Seriously. Who have I become?
When I got back on Saturday – I made the rounds to the families that have adopted me and went to bed early due to an intense headache.
Seafood Festival
In true Amanda fashion – although I was not feeling very well, I went to the beach on Sunday. They were having a Seafood Festival (which proved to be a bust anyhow...I had a cold fish patty that compared to 9th grade cafeteria food) in Corinto, the nearby beach. I went with my friend Craig from our group and had a great time. The ocean is so healing…or so I thought. When I got back home, I had a little bit of a cough – and felt feverish. But it was hard to decipher whether it was sunburn or a fever. I decided to take some Tylenol and go to bed.
So who guessed it??
I was pretty sick Monday morning. Felt like an intense sinus infection plus a nagging cough. My sinuses have not been top-shape since I moved here due to the intense amount of burning trash and dust I am exposed to daily. I also have not been sleeping incredibly well – and surprisingly not because of the rats. Since I got my fan I think it drowns out the sound of them. But a sound it cannot conquer is that of the two puppies that my family has now decided to tie up in the kitchen (or right on the other side of my wall). I will not even go into my thoughts on this sanitation issue. They puppies fight and whelp all throughout the night and it is impossible to ignore. I have been utilizing my ipod a lot more, but nonetheless I have been sleeping much menos.
I called the Medical Office on Monday and told my doctor my symptoms. She told me to take a regimen of medication and drink lots of fluids and that it was likely a sinus infection. I have been living out of my suitcases because I don’t have any furniture, so I could not find a thermometer, but I was pretty certain that I was burning up. Abel, my new best friend, went and got the medication for me and also brought me some chicken soup and dinner later on Monday evening. I slept on and off all day Monday and felt a little better in the evening. I slept on and off because the kids of the house I am staying in did not have school. The 15 year old boy is in the stage of ‘blaring music loud enough to make a person deaf’ stage. I was unfortunate enough to be sick during two days that he did not go to school. Needless to say it did not help with my headache and fever. I asked him several times to turn it down, but I don’t think he truly understood how sick I was. During the night, my fever broke again and I did not sleep much during our first thunderstorm of the ‘winter’ or rainy season.
I woke up Tuesday feeling worse and did not go to work again. I continued to take the medications and hoped that after 24 hours of taking it I would start to feel better. Instead I was feeling worse and was sweating through my clothes due to having this fever in 105 degree weather. Never have I ever…had to deal with a fever without air conditioning at my disposal. Wow. Needed it. My head no longer felt like a sinus infection, my entire head was pounding and hurt to lift from my pillow. Today’s selection of pounding music was: Reggae. At least it was decent music. I physically turned it down twice throughout the day because I could not hear who was speaking on the telephone, two rooms away. This music can be heard for blocks.
After using Abel’s thermometer and confirming that my fever was still over 100, I called the medical office twice to find out what I should do. While I was waiting for the doctor to call back, the sub-director of our health center came to see me (provoked by my host-mom, I believe). She did a consultation and said that I undoubtedly had an infection in my lungs. As I sat there sweating through my Old Navy t-shirt like it was paper, I tried to understand everything that she was saying. I could tell she was concerned that I had the ‘influenza humana’, or human virus, as she wore a mask to cover her mouth during the consult. I had doubts about letting them treat me, but all I knew was that I wanted to feel better and likely could not travel to Managua in the state I was in. They ended up putting an IV in my hand for rehydration and antibiotics. They said that if my fever and cough were not better by the next day, I would be tested for the human virus. Fabulous.
I felt like I was on a scene from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or Little House on the Prairie. The IV bag was tied to a rope that was strung across the tin roof my dirt-floor room. Seriously? I almost immediately fell asleep after they put in the IV and didn’t wake up until around 6:00pm when my host-mom/colleague brought me a fried egg, cube of cheese and bread. I devoured it and went back to sleep until my next round of antibiotics at 11:00pm. They told me to turn off my fan because it was likely blowing dust from dirt floor into my face. I was not happy about this. I woke up on and off throughout the night but was feeling a thousand times better.
I woke up feeling incredibly better and the IV was taken out around 7:00am. I showered and immediately began cleaning my room (aka putting all of my things back into my suitcases). I also was washing clothes and my sheets, excited to have the energy to do so. I spoke with the PC doctor on in the morning and she was concerned about getting treatment outside of Peace Corps. She spoke with the doctor here that treated me on the telephone. She thought it would be best to come to Managua to have x-rays of my chest if the coughing and fever continued. I assured her that my fever and headache was much, much better and that the coughing had subsided. I have to be in contact with her twice a day until the end of the week, but I truly do feel so much better. I understand that she needs to know about the treatment I am receiving, but I also feel like I should have been brought into Managua on Monday when I called talking about tightness in my chest. End result, I am alive and feeling much better.
Throughout this whole mess these last two days, Abel found it necessary to tell me that he is in love with me. It went something like this:
Abel: ‘Amanda – do you believe in love at first sight?’
Amanda: ‘Definitely not.’
Abel: ‘Seriously?’
Amanda: ‘Yes seriously. You have to get to know someone before you can have those feelings.’
Abel: ‘I didn’t believe it either until the first time I saw you. I felt something so deep within my heart and was overcome with emotions.’ (Meanwhile I am lying on bed, sweating through my sheets and pretending to pass out)
So. I was not really able to respond to this yesterday – but I did address that whole conversation today. I told him that that was very nice and flattering but that I was not interested in anything with anyone right now and I that I wanted to focus on my work here. He is very respectful and I do not think for a moment that he has any mal-intention, but it is better that I told him directly what was up. He is very helpful (almost to the point of annoyance) and a good friend; I do feel lucky to have met him despite this little love confession.
Well…that about brings you up to date! Ha. I really am feeling much, much better – so no worries (Aunt Raine!) I only have 8 more days until I get to move and I am super-ready and excited. I love you all so much and would love to hear updates on what is going on in your lives.
I decided to go back to writing about general topics as opposed to day-by-day blog entries. I think it is more focused and generally more interesting than a detailed description of my daily life.
Mitch.
Well I don’t mean to start with such a grave topic, but it is the first on the list. Two weeks ago I went to a community that was very affected by Hurricane Mitch in 1998 (it is also might be the highest elevation I will get here in Posoltega). It was a very interesting community and sort of exists on its own. The community is completed isolated from the rest of the municipality due to no public transportation daring to make the track up the mountain. We went up to this community for the vaccination campaign and they vaccinated hundreds of children. I quickly learned while in the community that there is no school. Can you imagine? I also observed that over half of the children were not ‘registered’. In other words, it was never reported that they were born – there is absolutely no record of them. One mother had four children without registry and also did not know their birth dates. Several children did not have names. I cannot even find words to describe what it is like to witness that. Many things were running through my mind – but I obviously said nothing. I was with Guadalupe (aka my counterpart and host-mother) and she lectured the women about how these children deserve names and registry. She went on to explain to them that it was as if the children were animals if they did not have registry.
When I first arrived in Posoltega they told me there had not been a child or maternal death in this municipality in some odd number of years. After witnessing the number of children that are not registered, there are undoubtedly deaths not being reported – because they are never registered in the first place. There was a woman from the mayor’s (Alcade) office with us who was registering some of the children (some as old as 12 years old). This problem is so large and clearly a product of poverty. I know this is so much bigger than one person – but I hope to incorporate this into my work over the next two years.
Side note: the ride up to this site, I was in the back of the Health Center truck (did I mention how the roads were?). I would like to compare it directly to the Safari ride at Disney World, but much, much more intense.
Nica-Time
So. I am beginning to think every Latin American country uses this as an excuse. ‘Tica-Time’ is what Costa Ricans say. ‘Nica-time’ is what Nicaraguans say. Basically what it all means, is that no one is one time here. I am not sure if I already told you this in a previous blog, but people actually say ‘American-time’ if they want people to be on time (although, the result will still be the same). My first experience with this was in Leon when I went to visit my friend Kenya. I got there around 2:30pm ready for a day of walking the city as we had discussed. Instead, I sat in front of a television, drinking coca-cola (we’ll talk about that later) until around 5:30pm. We went and walked around for about two hours and then I repeated the previously mentioned activities while she was getting ready for the discoteca, or club. Patience or paciencia is something that is going to continue to be a learning process here.
Regalos (gifts)
Now after mentioning one of the less attractive qualities of Nicaraguans, I feel it necessary to tell you about one of the best ones. They are so incredibly NICE. I know I already mentioned some about how people have been taking care of me here – but it really has only been increasing as days go on. I go from house to house to say hello to my friends/neighbors and end up bringing home four cucumbers, two avocados and a stomach full of two dinners. I rarely spend money on food here, because everyone wants to feed me! Hence, I am going to start exercising next week. Holy Rice!
Also, while at these people’s houses they either offer me a ‘fresca’ (juice made from Posoltega’s finest) or ‘gaseosa’(the biggest addiction here in Nicaragua…Coca-Cola). Due to several warnings about the water here in Posoltega, I am trying to limit the amount of home-made juices I am drinking and you cannot refuse a drink…therefore I have had more Coca-Cola in the past three weeks than my parents let me combined throughout my entire childhood (I don’t think they know what Diet, Caffeine-Free even is). Yuck. I have got to find a polite way to limit this consumption.
Another fun fact is that they love sopa, soup here. Every. Day. It doesn’t matter that it is 110 degrees out. Was literally sweating into my soup last week.
Time Management
Definitely need to work on that. They did tell us that our work the first three months is to integrate into our town, but I feel like people here are really quite demanding! They want to spend every single second with me (I think it is cultural – not just because I am fabulous…ha)! If I do not show up to someone’s house within two days – they think I moved back to the United States or was sick. I am seriously thinking about setting up a night with each family to avoid feeling pulled in a million directions by these families. I do not feel bad for myself at all – considering I have talked to some people in my group who are having quite the opposite problem in their towns. But for my sanity, I definitely need to work on not letting people suck hours and days out of me.
Role @Health Center, School
The health program of PC Nicaragua is very…open-ended, which has its benefits and drawbacks. The other programs, such as business and environment have a specific schedule and are assigned a specific teacher to work with. The first three weeks here at the Health Center has taught me a little something about myself: I really do enjoy some structure in my life. Especially in my work. I am struggling to find a role at the health center and do not feel an incredible amount of support from the staff. I suppose there is probably fault on both ends. I definitely need to take more initiative and just start doing things. I just finished my ‘Plan de Trabajo’ or work plan for the first three months – and I am already feeling better. I am sure nothing will pan out as planned, but at least I have a plan. Ha.
I feel so comfortable at the schools here and will start giving charlas in two classes within the next two weeks. I do not know if it is less intimidating – but I remember what I observed in Los Limones on my trip to the mountains. The way into any community is through their children. Even after visiting the schools a few times – random children yell my name in the streets. I am working on preparing my materials (with my fabulous markers and scissors) this week and I am really looking forward to working in the schools.
I won’t bore you with a long entry about the Virus that I am sure you see on the news daily. But basically, all of the PCVs were given Tamiflu in case of any occurrence here in Nicaragua – currently we do not have one case. We had a meeting at the health center about it and 45 out of the 50 people fell asleep during the three hours. Fascinating. Oh, and I did not fall asleep! Ha. They are just having emergency action plans in place, yada yada. If a case is found in Nicaragua – all PCVs will be put on ‘StandFast’ which means we will not be allowed to leave our sites until further notice. Hopefully it will not come to this! The health center is so frantic they are actually looking for patients now and finding out who has left the country in the last month and going to their house to test them. Nuts.
Highlight of the last two weeks….
MY PACKAGE CAME FROM MY PARENTS!!!! They sent it on February 25th and I received it one the 27th of April. It had Hershey kisses, peanut butter eggs, Girl Scout cookies, my favorite pair of pants, magazines and much more! I never knew how great melted peanut butter eggs were for breakfast. Ha. I have the best parents in the world!
I also received a package from Kimmers. Thanks for your ‘support.’ It is much appreciated girrrrl. I miss you more than you know.
Also, Aklecia is coming to see me!!!! She will be my first visitor and I am super excited to catch up with her and show her my new life here in Nicaragua.
In addition, I started using my Nikon camera! I feel comfortable using it here – especially when I am with someone from the town. I have started a little project for my friend Abel – who needs photos of the youth of Posoltega for the website for his project. I will post the address when I get it!
Mountains
I randomly decided to go to Esetli this past weekend to meet up with some other volunteers without really knowing how long it would take or how to get there. Weird. After a long yet beautiful ride up there, I arrived in Esteli about five hours after leaving Posoltega. I love the mountains so much, their beauty really astonishes me. I was mesmerized most of the ride. That is, until the drunk guy in the first seat got a little too drunk. He randomly got off the bus and quickly got more beer when it stopped. Twice the bus stopped for him to use the bathroom. Only in Nicaragua. We were less than five minutes from my destination when he began vomiting. Ironically, this man had a Phillies baseball hat on (which is really common here!).
A few of us treated ourselves to a wonderful Italian dinner with WINE!!! It was fabulous. Or it was just fabulous because I have been deprived of both of those. Ha. We’ll never know. It was really nice to talk to the other volunteers and see how their first few weeks have gone in their sites.
Jessie, Brad and I also went to a used clothing store that was having a big sale. I got a Rampage bathing suit, two black shirts and a t-shirt that says ‘East End’ for a total of $6.00 U.S. dollars. Annnnd I felt guilty for spending that much. Seriously. Who have I become?
When I got back on Saturday – I made the rounds to the families that have adopted me and went to bed early due to an intense headache.
Seafood Festival
In true Amanda fashion – although I was not feeling very well, I went to the beach on Sunday. They were having a Seafood Festival (which proved to be a bust anyhow...I had a cold fish patty that compared to 9th grade cafeteria food) in Corinto, the nearby beach. I went with my friend Craig from our group and had a great time. The ocean is so healing…or so I thought. When I got back home, I had a little bit of a cough – and felt feverish. But it was hard to decipher whether it was sunburn or a fever. I decided to take some Tylenol and go to bed.
So who guessed it??
I was pretty sick Monday morning. Felt like an intense sinus infection plus a nagging cough. My sinuses have not been top-shape since I moved here due to the intense amount of burning trash and dust I am exposed to daily. I also have not been sleeping incredibly well – and surprisingly not because of the rats. Since I got my fan I think it drowns out the sound of them. But a sound it cannot conquer is that of the two puppies that my family has now decided to tie up in the kitchen (or right on the other side of my wall). I will not even go into my thoughts on this sanitation issue. They puppies fight and whelp all throughout the night and it is impossible to ignore. I have been utilizing my ipod a lot more, but nonetheless I have been sleeping much menos.
I called the Medical Office on Monday and told my doctor my symptoms. She told me to take a regimen of medication and drink lots of fluids and that it was likely a sinus infection. I have been living out of my suitcases because I don’t have any furniture, so I could not find a thermometer, but I was pretty certain that I was burning up. Abel, my new best friend, went and got the medication for me and also brought me some chicken soup and dinner later on Monday evening. I slept on and off all day Monday and felt a little better in the evening. I slept on and off because the kids of the house I am staying in did not have school. The 15 year old boy is in the stage of ‘blaring music loud enough to make a person deaf’ stage. I was unfortunate enough to be sick during two days that he did not go to school. Needless to say it did not help with my headache and fever. I asked him several times to turn it down, but I don’t think he truly understood how sick I was. During the night, my fever broke again and I did not sleep much during our first thunderstorm of the ‘winter’ or rainy season.
I woke up Tuesday feeling worse and did not go to work again. I continued to take the medications and hoped that after 24 hours of taking it I would start to feel better. Instead I was feeling worse and was sweating through my clothes due to having this fever in 105 degree weather. Never have I ever…had to deal with a fever without air conditioning at my disposal. Wow. Needed it. My head no longer felt like a sinus infection, my entire head was pounding and hurt to lift from my pillow. Today’s selection of pounding music was: Reggae. At least it was decent music. I physically turned it down twice throughout the day because I could not hear who was speaking on the telephone, two rooms away. This music can be heard for blocks.
After using Abel’s thermometer and confirming that my fever was still over 100, I called the medical office twice to find out what I should do. While I was waiting for the doctor to call back, the sub-director of our health center came to see me (provoked by my host-mom, I believe). She did a consultation and said that I undoubtedly had an infection in my lungs. As I sat there sweating through my Old Navy t-shirt like it was paper, I tried to understand everything that she was saying. I could tell she was concerned that I had the ‘influenza humana’, or human virus, as she wore a mask to cover her mouth during the consult. I had doubts about letting them treat me, but all I knew was that I wanted to feel better and likely could not travel to Managua in the state I was in. They ended up putting an IV in my hand for rehydration and antibiotics. They said that if my fever and cough were not better by the next day, I would be tested for the human virus. Fabulous.
I felt like I was on a scene from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or Little House on the Prairie. The IV bag was tied to a rope that was strung across the tin roof my dirt-floor room. Seriously? I almost immediately fell asleep after they put in the IV and didn’t wake up until around 6:00pm when my host-mom/colleague brought me a fried egg, cube of cheese and bread. I devoured it and went back to sleep until my next round of antibiotics at 11:00pm. They told me to turn off my fan because it was likely blowing dust from dirt floor into my face. I was not happy about this. I woke up on and off throughout the night but was feeling a thousand times better.
I woke up feeling incredibly better and the IV was taken out around 7:00am. I showered and immediately began cleaning my room (aka putting all of my things back into my suitcases). I also was washing clothes and my sheets, excited to have the energy to do so. I spoke with the PC doctor on in the morning and she was concerned about getting treatment outside of Peace Corps. She spoke with the doctor here that treated me on the telephone. She thought it would be best to come to Managua to have x-rays of my chest if the coughing and fever continued. I assured her that my fever and headache was much, much better and that the coughing had subsided. I have to be in contact with her twice a day until the end of the week, but I truly do feel so much better. I understand that she needs to know about the treatment I am receiving, but I also feel like I should have been brought into Managua on Monday when I called talking about tightness in my chest. End result, I am alive and feeling much better.
Throughout this whole mess these last two days, Abel found it necessary to tell me that he is in love with me. It went something like this:
Abel: ‘Amanda – do you believe in love at first sight?’
Amanda: ‘Definitely not.’
Abel: ‘Seriously?’
Amanda: ‘Yes seriously. You have to get to know someone before you can have those feelings.’
Abel: ‘I didn’t believe it either until the first time I saw you. I felt something so deep within my heart and was overcome with emotions.’ (Meanwhile I am lying on bed, sweating through my sheets and pretending to pass out)
So. I was not really able to respond to this yesterday – but I did address that whole conversation today. I told him that that was very nice and flattering but that I was not interested in anything with anyone right now and I that I wanted to focus on my work here. He is very respectful and I do not think for a moment that he has any mal-intention, but it is better that I told him directly what was up. He is very helpful (almost to the point of annoyance) and a good friend; I do feel lucky to have met him despite this little love confession.
Well…that about brings you up to date! Ha. I really am feeling much, much better – so no worries (Aunt Raine!) I only have 8 more days until I get to move and I am super-ready and excited. I love you all so much and would love to hear updates on what is going on in your lives.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Boys II Men is Back!
Hellloooo United States! Maybe boys to men isn´t back, but they finally made it big here in Nicaragua. 10 years later!
The swearing-in ceremony was very exciting and I took some videos that I will be posting shortly. It was a great honor to be there representing the U.S. and even more so… Dela…where! I am one week into my service here in Posoltega and it has been a doozy. I hope that everyone is well in body, mind and spirit. I miss you all terribly, but I can already tell that two years here is going to fllllyyy by. This blog I am going to divide into days, because that is how I took notes this week. But first I will tell you a little about the swearing-in ceremony.
Por Paz
Ironically, as the days got closer to swearing-in I got closer to certain girls in the group. We definitely enjoyed the last few days together before we were all spread out around the country (my closest in proximity good friend is about 3.5 hours away and the furthest 16 hours). I did cry once during the course of the day when I was saying goodbye to my gordita (little chubby girl). I knew I would miss that comfort of seeing her after a long day and nearly breaking my back to pick her up. Ha. I know I will definitely return to see them soon (possibly when my parents come to visit!). For the remainder of the day I enjoyed air conditioning and good company until happy hour. It was definitely a great time, but I was incredibly exhausted after a long week of saying goodbye to Hana. We spent an insaaane amount of time together and definitely enjoyed some Flor de Caña (the rum they make here… and it is amazing) the last few days in El Rosario. I am going to miss her incredibly, but I am glad that we were in the same training towns and we’re able to become so close.
Day One –
Prior to leaving for Posoltega, I went to the PC office with my fellow Chinandegaens. I was surprisingly not nervous, and more just ready to start the two years. I arrived around 2:00pm to my new home and immediately went to the comedor, or the semi-restaurant to eat. I then promptly took a nap/slept in my sweat for about an hour and a half. I then decided to walk around for a little and perfectly planned I ran into Hilda (the 18 year old girl I had become friends with during my site visit) and her aunt. We went for a short walk and then I ended up at a bible study. Do not ask me how this happened, but basically they are all Evangelical, which is a very strict and popular religion here, and she was having a bible study at her house. I thought, ‘whatever…I will probably learn some new words in the book of God.’ It was pretty interesting and tranquila (chill) until they asked me, “Have you accepted God into your heart?” I was confused and pressured by talk of heaven and hell and ultimately all of these hands ended up on my head and people were praying for my sins. I did drink a decent amount of Flor de Caña a few days before, but Jesus. It was awkward for sure and I may or may not now be…Evangelical. I returned home pondering how religion is going to affect my service here and also my personal life considering they had already planned out my Thursday night and Friday night activities. It is a fine line to get to know people’s culture or religion without offending them by refusing it. You will hear a few more examples of this throughout this blog.
After returning to my home for the first two weeks, I entered my room and saw something out of the corner of my eye. As I got a closer look at this large crab-looking creature on my wall (about 4 inches long), I decided to ask one of the little girls what it was. She entered my room and then screamed something like ‘alacran’ and started running for her mother. I then realized I should probably be worried. The mom/my colleague came into the room and killed the creature with the pole that is used as my security system at night to secure the door. As I looked across the room I saw another, but this one was about 6 inches long. As liquid substances stained my brick wall from the dead animals, she then explained to me what the world in English, scorpions. Fab-u-loso. I never thought this would ever be a decision that would enter my life, but if faced with the choice of rats or scorpions – I would chose rats. Apparently here in Nicaragua scorpions are very large and scary – but not deadly. Occasionally people have allergic reactions to the stings (yea, I know) and if someone is pregnant it supposedly makes them have a miscarriage. Just because a doctor told me that here in Nicaragua does not mean that it is true – there are plenty of mitos here, or myths. So even though I had been saved by God that night, I did not sleep very well. I do have a mosquitera, which is a mosquito net that goes around my bed – but it was left in El Rosario by accident (don’t worry it is being brought to me). I woke up constantly throughout the night checking for my little spider/crab friends. Welcome back to Posoltga! Ha.
Day Two – Jornada
This was officially my first day of work and currently we are doing a Vaccination Campaign (nation-wide, or Jornada de Vacunaciones. Basically the point of this campaign is to vaccinate, provide vitamins and anti-parasite medication to all children in the entire municipality. Directly in the casco urbano or main part of town there are about 3000 people, but in the entire municipality there are over 17,000. So each day for over two weeks, teams go out to different communities and walk house-to-house. I was definitely not prepared for this on my first day, as my perception was that we would go to one place and everyone in the community would come to get vaccinated (this is how it is in 95% of the country). Due to this mal-perception I brought one pequanita (very small) bottle of water. We were out in the community until around 3:00pm. Needless to say I ended up drinking some tap water and a large quantity of Pepsi due to lack of resources.
It overall was a very good day and I learned a lot about the difference between where I will be living and the more rural communities. Several of the houses were made out of trash bags or other plastic material and held up by nailing in the tops of beer bottle tops. I also began to understand why they go house to house to vaccinate. One of the families told us there was a pregnant teenager a few houses down (and by a few houses I mean about a half mile, they are all so spread out!). When we arrived the girl would not come out of her house and said that there were no children in the house and no one was pregnant. Somehow my counterpart hoaxed her into coming out, and sure enough the 15 year old girl was about four months pregnant. I do not know whether it is fear of the injection or fear of judgment, but she did not want anyone to know. We returned around 4:00pm to the health center and I walked the mile and a half back to my host-house, exhaaausted. Still, I somehow ended up at bible study again – and I sat there made at myself for not being able to effectively communicate that this was not what I wanted to be doing. Ha. Language level or just me? Who knows.
After I returned home to go to sleep, I went to use the latrine quickly – and as I opened the door I saw at least 5 cockroaches on or in the latrine. I jumped back and closed the door. These four weeks in this house are going to teach me to hold my bladder like I never have.
Day Three – Meeting
My Program Manager, Pilar, scheduled a meeting this day with my counterparts, the director of the health center and also encouraged them to invite other key people in the community. Due to this meeting, I did not go out on the jornada and was able to wash some of my clothes. This is such a physical activity, I cannot even explain it – but I kind of enjoy it. Needless to say I took two showers before 9:30am due to the amount of sweating I did during my clothes washing session. Normal.
I went to the high school before the meeting to talk with the director of the school to see if he could come to the meeting, but he wasn’t there. I waited for almost an hour while I was hit on a guy that I thought was a student. He is at least 4 inches shorter than me – and I opened the conversation by asking him what grade he was in. His reply was, “I am a teacher here.” Smooth Amanda, real smooth. He proceeded to recite poems about my eyes and told me I look like Angelina Jolie as I waited for the director. I finally gave up/wasn’t entertained by my short friend – so I returned for some lunch prior to my meeting with Pilar. The meeting was jam packed with people interested in working with me…and by jam-packed I mean it was the director of the health center, Pilar and me. I definitely did not feel like the health center director made any effort to have anyone else come – but I also understood that it was bad timing with the joranda going on and everything. The health center director kind of reminds me of Ursula from the Little Mermaid. Anyway, I guess it went well – it is still very vague what my role will be in the health center. My main counterpart is the community educator – but it appears that she is bogged down with working with TB clients in other communities. There is no presence in the schools and I have yet to see one charla given. The good thing about this – is that it does give me a wide-open opportunity to do anything.
So my first few days in town, I was doing a very sub-par job at feeding myself. But I quickly learned that this town is going to take care of me. There are already two families who will feed me at the drop of a hat – unprovoked. I just show up to say hello and they invite me in and immediately start feeding me. This is such a comfort and I am so thankful for both families. One family is that of the driver of the Health Center vehicle, Will. It all started by them asking me if I was getting fed by my host-mom and I explained that it was not part of our deal. Then they started realizing how often I was buying eggs – and became concerned. That is all I have cooked so far here – Ha. This night they gave me gallo pinto, cheese, tortilla and tomato. This is something I would have cringed at in my training town to see for dinner; I literally had to stop myself to breathe a little while eating because it was so amazing. Just like my mom says, it’s all relative.
I got to talk to Paula, the volunteer closest to me, and she invited me to Chinandega the next day. I was super excited to go to Chinandega and spend some time with her. I ended the night by going to a ‘cult’ or an Evangelical service/celebration. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. I went because I had been watching the little kids practicing their dance for it all week and wanted to support them (this is their only opportunity to dance – as it is forbidden in this religion). It was almost two hours long and the kids dance was less than 5 minutes. The majority of the service was a pastor yelling into a microphone which was followed by asking anyone to come forward who would like to accept God into their heart. I felt like he and everyone else was staring at me during this ‘call’ for a new disciple. Needless to say I had already made up my mind that this would be my first and last Evangelical service. After no one was willing to go to the front to accept God for the first time – they had anyone come forward who needed God at this time. There were about eight people of the church who would put their hands on the people and rock them back and forth, until eventually they fell to the ground. This was supposed to represent that God had entered his/her heart. People were crying and falling. It was madness. I am surprised no one got hurt. Somehow I stuck it out and waited for the service to be over – mainly because the guy playing the keyboard and singing was the hottest Nicaraguan I have seen to date.
Day Four – the Dega
Off to Chinandega! I traveled by myself the 45 minute bus ride there and it was fabulous after traveling in a group of twenty for three full months. The guy who thought I was Angelina Jolie ended up sitting with me until the first stop, Chichigalpa. Shortly after, a young woman moved back one seat to sit with me. She immediately started asking me questions about where I was from, what I was doing in Posoltega, the usual. She is a 28 year old, essentially single mom of a 11 year old boy because her husband is in the U.S. She was super excited about me being in Posoltega and immediately invited me to her home and pointed out her favorite discoteca that we should go to. I love meeting new people! Ha. She wrote down her address and phone number prior to getting off the bus. I met Paula and another volunteer at the Gas Station right near the bus stop. The Gas Station is ‘On the Run’ there are only five in the entire country – one in Chinandega and four in Managua. Gas stations here are … golden. It is so opposite of our culture. The bathrooms are amazing – it is air conditioned, has great food. I could have stayed in there forever. Ha. Both of these girls are Environment volunteers – Paula is from Virginia and Olenka from California. I found out that Olenka was actually going to my training town house to stay during a language taller this week! Small world. I told her to give my fam a hug for me in El Rosario. We spent all day walking all through the town and they were showing me the important places (bank, post office, grocery stores, etc.). It was really helpful to have someone show me all of these places for the first time. Both of them have only been into service four months – but already were very familiar with the city of Chinandega. My new mailing address is:
Amanda Levering
A.P. 115
Chinandega, Chinandega
Nicaragua, Central America
It will be so much easier to get mail and packages now – I am super excited. Three volunteers from my group ended up being in Chinandega too and we hung out for a little as well. It became really clear to me how key my location is in Posoltega. I am so close to two of the biggest cities in Nicaragua and Chinandega has the most volunteers as well. The ease of transportation is something that I will definitely continue to appreciate throughout these two years. I spoke with one of my friends in Quiali aka the mountains – and she is having the opposite experience with transportation and isolation. We all will have our own barriers and obstacles throughout this experience, for sure. But I am already thankful for these two things.
After returning to Posoltega, I showered and got ready for the Hilda’s little sister’s birthday party. En route to the party, I was stopped by a guy who kindly asked in Spanish, “Are you with Peace Corps?”We ended up chatting for nearly a half hour on the street (it was mainly him talking frantically) about how he had worked with a previous PCV and what a great experience it was. He also went into some detail about a project he is working on to get funding to better the water in Posoltega (apparently a great number of people have died due to kidney failure). I briefly told him that I was currently looking for a house and where I was living for the next three weeks. We exchanged numbers and he promised to start looking for a house for me.
I finally arrived at the birthday party and it was…bumpin. Ha. The father of Hilda was visiting from Leon and he and some other men were drinking heavily some Flor de Caña in the backyard. I played a serious game of freeze tag with the kids – and ended up covered in sweat. Apparently this meant that I needed a drink…a real drink. Ha. One of the men (whose house I was at) kept insisting that I have just one drink. I eventually accepted and sipped on it for about an hour. It was essentially rum on the rocks. It was incredibly awkward as I sipped this drink and a dozen kids and my evangelical women friends were watching. I am probably not shunned from the bible study group. No – they love me, but it was my first weird drinking experience. They tried to give me more drinks and I declined – insisting that I didn’t really like to drink (lies). I just will probably never be comfortable drinking here – because I need to be seen as a professional. Plus – my location permits me to drink in neighboring towns if need be. Ha.
I returned home, slightly buzzed from my small cocktail – expecting to have a fabulous sleep. To my dismay, I woke up around 2:00am to evenly paced scratching sound above my bed. I ran and turned on the lights, and through my still sleeping eyes, I am pretty sure I saw two rats ‘haciendo amor’ or making love. Ha. I made a lot of noise and broke up their love fest (I think they were teenagers), if for no other reason than I do not want any more rats. I am strangely getting used to things like this and went back to bed quite easily.
April 19th – Corinto
I met Craig and Paula at the ‘On the Run’ in Chinandega to head off to Corinto a.k.a. the beach. I was super excited to have a relaxing day on the beach. We got there around 11am and packed some peanut butter and jelly and cucumber and tomato sandwiches. I had been in Corinto once before during HIV/AIDS week, but the heat was nothing like it was this day. You literally could not walk on the sand; you had to run as fast as you could. I literally thought my feet were going to blister up on the bottom. I took a little walk by myself and checked out some of Corinto and took some photos. I am hoping more and more that I will be able to take more photos. If I haven’t used my good camera by the time my parents get here in July, I decided I will have them take it home. In the mean time I am just trying to be as creative as I can be with my little camera. We did not get back home late from Corinto – around 4:30-5:00pm.
I went to Kenya’s house immediately (the family and 24 year old girl I met on my site visit a month ago) because I heard that she was back for the weekend. We both yelped a little when we saw each other and I spent the rest of the night at her house. She wanted to file my nails and toes – so I gladly let her as I am going through pedicure withdrawal. She told me that she was now going to be living in Leon during the week because there are more opportunities for her there and she is provided with housing by her grandmother. Although I was disappointed she would not be in Posoltega, I also was happy for her that she had this opportunity to study and find work in Leon. It is so interesting to think about how she is choosing to leave this place and I am choosing to live here. It is much different to accept it as two years of your life – and actually living it. I still hope to maintain this relationship with Kenya and we made plans for Saturday that I would come to Leon with her little sister, Amanda.
Quickly before going home – Kenya accompanied me to talk to the owner of the room for rent that I had fallen in love with at first site. When I had first gone – the rest of the family was talking as if I was already living there saying, “This patio is your patio too,” etc. But when I talked to the Doña, or mother of the house, this night she said that the room was not available for rent because she and her husband were sleeping there currently. It was a very bizarre ending to the situation – but I had hope that something better was to come and my parents reassured me that it was not meant to be. After returning home slightly disappointed, I changed into my pajamas when the little girl told me two people were looking for me. I went to the door and it was Kenya and her little brother. We walked to the side of the house and they said they had talked to their mom and that I should not be worried about housing because I can stay with them. Kenya went on to say that I could sleep in her bed and use her things – because she has other things in Leon. She shares a room with her sister and brother. I was almost brought to tears when I thought about how this family – who is not rich by any means – is so willing to take me and take care of me. Whatever they have – they are willing to share it with me. It is moments like this, that I am reminded that humanity can be so beautiful. I went to sleep that night without a care in the world.
4/20
My sinuses have not bothered me at all here in Nicaragua – that is until I moved to the desert. It has not been too bad, but I have been sneezing and having sinus headaches. It is just so dry and SO dusty. The jornada was pretty boring this day and we went to one of the pre-schools. It was a lot less physically tiring and shorter as well. We got back to the health center around 12:30pm and I walked back to the house. I think this day was the hottest since I arrived here in Posoltega, and the walk was nearly unbearable. When I finally arrived at the house, Abel (the guy I met on the street who is in love with PC) was waiting for me. He invited me to go to Chinandega and also said that he had found a potential house for me. I was overwhelmed/dehydrated and all I wanted to do was shower. I told him to come back in about an hour and I would let him know if I could go. After taking a refreshing shower, within ten minutes I could not tell whether I was wet from my shower or soaked again in sweat. I decided I should go because I should be ‘integrating’ into my culture and also I felt like he could potentially be a project partner in the future. I got myself together after calling my sister and headed off to Chinandega with Abel. He has a base knowledge of English and is really excited to use it. This is borderline annoying for me – as much as I don’t want to admit it. I should be flattered that people want to learn my language, but… I’m not. It is really difficult to be switching back and forth from English to Spanish when I am trying very hard to improve my Spanish.
We went to his godfather or padrino’s house in Chinandega. His godfather had wireless internet and within five minutes of getting there he asked me if I wanted to call anyone in the United States. What a silly question – umm yes, please. Apparently he has a landline that is listed to Florida and he can call the US for free. Weird. So I called my parents and talked for a little while for free, which was beautiful. His godfather then made me some fabulously strong black coffee and told me to come by whenever I was in Chinandega. Yes and yes. Abel and I headed back around 5:00pm and went on to look at the house he had found for me.
Her name is Alba (they like A names in the family apparently) and she lives by herself right near the Catholic Church (I know…my evangelical friends will not like this). The outside of her house is quite attractive and has beautiful mahogany like doors. The inside has a huge sala or living room area. The room that I would be renting is a decent size and has two doors, one to the sala and the other to the patio area. Which brings me to my favorite part – her patio is … zen-like. It is so gorgeous an filled with every type of tree you can imagine. There was avocado, mango and many other fruits/veggies unique to Nicaragua. She also has a little garden with tomatoes and onions. She is a very chill woman and I immediately could tell I would like her. She has a lot of things that are not that common to Nicaragua homes, such as: a microwave, a toilet, and a fridge. Oh. And a washing machine. What is that. Although a washing machine saves a lot of time- I really do enjoy washing by hand – it is just more gratifying. Needless to say, I was very happy with the house. I asked questions about when I have friends visit from the states and she said “I will stay in my room – we can put up hammocks here in the sala and you guys can have your privacy.” Love. Her. My only concerns were that the roof in my ceiling was very old and possibly may leak and also that there were not electrical outlets in my room. She immediately said that she would get two outlets in there. I also asked about rats and she said that she fumigates every 6 months or so. Loving her more. She also has a bed that I will be able to use. I would just have to buy a mattress and something for my clothes. The rent is 1000 cordobas a month, which sounds like a LOT but it is only 50 dollars, and it includes water and electric. I also am sure that she will share the veggies and fruit with me – as she gave me some gifts before I left that night. The amount of money it would save me to not to buy a stove or a fridge is unbelievable – and this was beginning to look like a great option for me.
I returned back to my side of town and went over to my pulperia or store to grab some eggs to cook for dinner –but when I got there, the little girl said, “Come in!” So I went on through and ended up having the most fabulous meal I have had since I have been in Posoltega and watched my favorite telenovela. I know you are going to judge me – and its okay – because I am judging myself about watching it. It is all about drugs and sex and it is the worst television show I have ever seen. I find myself laughing at times when someone dies. These prostitutes smuggle drugs into other countries through their fake breasts. Ha. Go ahead, laugh. After spending a few hours with the fam, I headed back to my house. ]
The way that people are so welcoming and giving here reminds me a lot of my parents – and how they were always willing to take someone in and help them. I am so lucky to have grown up in a house like that.
Shortly after, the guy I had been communicating with about another house came over to invite me to talk to the owner of the house (I had already seen the house earlier in the week). It is two large rooms, completely private and my own bathroom and shower. She said that the price would be 1000 cordobas as well, but not including water and electric. Also, she would throw in a bed, a dresser, a desk and two rocking chairs.
That night I made a list of positives and negatives between the two houses (blame my parents for this nerdy trait).
Hump-Day
I was exhausted after such a long day on Tuesday, but headed off to walk to work at 7:30am. We went to a community called Santa Maria for the jornada and it turned out to be an even longer day. We did not return back to the health center until around 6:00pm. Did I mention we were walking the entire day? I did make it clear to my counterpart that I needed a responsibility during the jornada as opposed to just observing like I had on the previous outings. I was assigned giving out the pills for parasites – it was invigorating. No really, it was nice to have an actual role instead of just standing there; I was glad that I spoke up. At the end of the day I ended up speaking with a bunch of the nursing students who had previously just stared and laughed at me. They were really sweet and interested in what I was doing there. One thing I am having a difficult time with in this culture is that they hate silence. They will continually ask you if you are bored, sad, tired, etc. if you are not chatting it up with them. This is difficult when sometimes all I want is a break from speaking/thinking in Spanish. Needless to say, I made another friend, Bia (Kimmy you know I thought of you when she told me this), and she invited me to come to her house on Sunday and also to live with her and her family. Ha.
I called my parents that night for some advice about making a decision about the house. In the end, I came to decision that the house with Alba is definitely a better option for me, even if it is less privacy, etc. I will be able to make my little room ‘my own’ and spend a lot less money on things for the house.
22nd April
This day we went to a school and it was generally pretty easy besides restraining some kids so they could take their shots. Reminded me of how my parents met – at the Terry Center restraining juvenile delinquents. I started walking back from the health center, when one of the drivers of another health center truck asked if I wanted a ride. It was much appreciated on another particularly hot day. We both were going to the same comedor and ate lunch with each other. I had a difficult time getting it down – because it was more oil than I could stomach. When I went to go pay – the nice older gentleman actually paid for me and offered to drive me the following two blocks back to my house. I declined because I had recently seen a pulperia that sold ‘Coca-Cola Lite’ and wanted to treat myself to my first one in Posoltega. Kindness is such a good feeling – whether it is being received or given.
I decided I needed to wash some clothes because I wear at least two outfits per day (14 outfits per week!!). It was an intense session of washing clothes and I was out there for over two hours. One of the little girls came to tell me that one of the disgusting men across the street was watching me. When I looked over he was blowing me a kiss, while sitting shirtless on the curb. I yelled ‘ew’ and quickly finished my laundry.
That night I went over to talk to Hilda and it happened to be the time of another ‘cult’. I had already made up my mind and quite explicitly explained that I would not be attending. They were disappointed but I knew it was time…to break away from the church. I had a nice talk with Hilda that night about Peace Corps and what exactly I would be doing for the two years. She talked a lot about how she wished she had an opportunity to do something like this and go be a lawyer in another area. I have made a decision to not ever feel guilty or sorry for where I come from or the opportunities I have. I have decided to only be thankful and also sensitive to the fact that these opportunities are far and few between for people in this country.
23rd – broke as a joke
Oops. So I had budgeted the week pretty well – but then the host mom that I am living with me told me that she could not feed her kids and that she needed the rent immediately. Therefore, I was broke by Thursday. I had about 20 cordobas to my name- which would have gotten me one bottle of water for the day and no money. I decided that I would not be going to work this day and that I had to go to Chinandega to go to the bank. It is a weird feeling to not have immediate access to the money that you have – and to plan well in advance since the nearest bank is about an hour away (some people in northern Chinandega are more than 4 hours from the closest bank).
I took the morning to do some reading and headed to Chinandega around 10am. The taxi driver that was my first driver when I got into town last week has been giving me free rides whenever he sees me walking. Which is nice except that he is a creepy, old, fat man. He gave me a ride to the front of town to catch a bus on the main road. En route he asked if he could kiss my hand and take me to his finca or farm. I decided this was the last free ride I would be taking.
Roaming around Chinandega by myself was a lot of fun, the best way to get to know a place is to get lost in it. I bought a market bag to put all of my fruits and veggie in and more importantly I bought…a FAN!!!! My first big purchase was very worth it. Putting it together was a different story…it took over an hour and I was drenched in sweat. In the end there is still something not quite right with it and if you knock into it – it will fall. But I am sleeping so fabulously now and it works! That’s all that matters.
I returned back around 2:00pm to Posoltega, put together the fan and read in front of it for the remainder of the day. I finished my first book – A Long Way Gone – Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah. I finished it in less than 36 hours and it was excellent. I also attempted to straighten my room, aka but everything back into suitcases. Also, up until this point I thought it was very strange when I saw people sweeping their dirt floors. But after living in a dirt floor environment, I understand why they do it! Dirt floors really can get dirty. Ha.
Yesterday I went to a community that was very affected by Hurricaine Mitch and even went to the park that former President Clinton and former first lady Hilary Clinton funded, there is one tree for each person lost in the landslide. I will write more about that in the next blog because this is way too long!
But in closing – I have decieded to go with the house with the older woman, Alba. The security officer should be coming out next week to check it out and make sure it is suitable and passes all the regulations and what not. Wish me luck!
Also, I organized superlatives for the group and was voted Group Mom. Ha.
I hope everyone is well… I miss you all so much! I am headed off to Leon for the day.
LOVE YOU ALL <3
p.s. there are tornado´s here... of dirt. what.
The swearing-in ceremony was very exciting and I took some videos that I will be posting shortly. It was a great honor to be there representing the U.S. and even more so… Dela…where! I am one week into my service here in Posoltega and it has been a doozy. I hope that everyone is well in body, mind and spirit. I miss you all terribly, but I can already tell that two years here is going to fllllyyy by. This blog I am going to divide into days, because that is how I took notes this week. But first I will tell you a little about the swearing-in ceremony.
Por Paz
Ironically, as the days got closer to swearing-in I got closer to certain girls in the group. We definitely enjoyed the last few days together before we were all spread out around the country (my closest in proximity good friend is about 3.5 hours away and the furthest 16 hours). I did cry once during the course of the day when I was saying goodbye to my gordita (little chubby girl). I knew I would miss that comfort of seeing her after a long day and nearly breaking my back to pick her up. Ha. I know I will definitely return to see them soon (possibly when my parents come to visit!). For the remainder of the day I enjoyed air conditioning and good company until happy hour. It was definitely a great time, but I was incredibly exhausted after a long week of saying goodbye to Hana. We spent an insaaane amount of time together and definitely enjoyed some Flor de Caña (the rum they make here… and it is amazing) the last few days in El Rosario. I am going to miss her incredibly, but I am glad that we were in the same training towns and we’re able to become so close.
Day One –
Prior to leaving for Posoltega, I went to the PC office with my fellow Chinandegaens. I was surprisingly not nervous, and more just ready to start the two years. I arrived around 2:00pm to my new home and immediately went to the comedor, or the semi-restaurant to eat. I then promptly took a nap/slept in my sweat for about an hour and a half. I then decided to walk around for a little and perfectly planned I ran into Hilda (the 18 year old girl I had become friends with during my site visit) and her aunt. We went for a short walk and then I ended up at a bible study. Do not ask me how this happened, but basically they are all Evangelical, which is a very strict and popular religion here, and she was having a bible study at her house. I thought, ‘whatever…I will probably learn some new words in the book of God.’ It was pretty interesting and tranquila (chill) until they asked me, “Have you accepted God into your heart?” I was confused and pressured by talk of heaven and hell and ultimately all of these hands ended up on my head and people were praying for my sins. I did drink a decent amount of Flor de Caña a few days before, but Jesus. It was awkward for sure and I may or may not now be…Evangelical. I returned home pondering how religion is going to affect my service here and also my personal life considering they had already planned out my Thursday night and Friday night activities. It is a fine line to get to know people’s culture or religion without offending them by refusing it. You will hear a few more examples of this throughout this blog.
After returning to my home for the first two weeks, I entered my room and saw something out of the corner of my eye. As I got a closer look at this large crab-looking creature on my wall (about 4 inches long), I decided to ask one of the little girls what it was. She entered my room and then screamed something like ‘alacran’ and started running for her mother. I then realized I should probably be worried. The mom/my colleague came into the room and killed the creature with the pole that is used as my security system at night to secure the door. As I looked across the room I saw another, but this one was about 6 inches long. As liquid substances stained my brick wall from the dead animals, she then explained to me what the world in English, scorpions. Fab-u-loso. I never thought this would ever be a decision that would enter my life, but if faced with the choice of rats or scorpions – I would chose rats. Apparently here in Nicaragua scorpions are very large and scary – but not deadly. Occasionally people have allergic reactions to the stings (yea, I know) and if someone is pregnant it supposedly makes them have a miscarriage. Just because a doctor told me that here in Nicaragua does not mean that it is true – there are plenty of mitos here, or myths. So even though I had been saved by God that night, I did not sleep very well. I do have a mosquitera, which is a mosquito net that goes around my bed – but it was left in El Rosario by accident (don’t worry it is being brought to me). I woke up constantly throughout the night checking for my little spider/crab friends. Welcome back to Posoltga! Ha.
Day Two – Jornada
This was officially my first day of work and currently we are doing a Vaccination Campaign (nation-wide, or Jornada de Vacunaciones. Basically the point of this campaign is to vaccinate, provide vitamins and anti-parasite medication to all children in the entire municipality. Directly in the casco urbano or main part of town there are about 3000 people, but in the entire municipality there are over 17,000. So each day for over two weeks, teams go out to different communities and walk house-to-house. I was definitely not prepared for this on my first day, as my perception was that we would go to one place and everyone in the community would come to get vaccinated (this is how it is in 95% of the country). Due to this mal-perception I brought one pequanita (very small) bottle of water. We were out in the community until around 3:00pm. Needless to say I ended up drinking some tap water and a large quantity of Pepsi due to lack of resources.
It overall was a very good day and I learned a lot about the difference between where I will be living and the more rural communities. Several of the houses were made out of trash bags or other plastic material and held up by nailing in the tops of beer bottle tops. I also began to understand why they go house to house to vaccinate. One of the families told us there was a pregnant teenager a few houses down (and by a few houses I mean about a half mile, they are all so spread out!). When we arrived the girl would not come out of her house and said that there were no children in the house and no one was pregnant. Somehow my counterpart hoaxed her into coming out, and sure enough the 15 year old girl was about four months pregnant. I do not know whether it is fear of the injection or fear of judgment, but she did not want anyone to know. We returned around 4:00pm to the health center and I walked the mile and a half back to my host-house, exhaaausted. Still, I somehow ended up at bible study again – and I sat there made at myself for not being able to effectively communicate that this was not what I wanted to be doing. Ha. Language level or just me? Who knows.
After I returned home to go to sleep, I went to use the latrine quickly – and as I opened the door I saw at least 5 cockroaches on or in the latrine. I jumped back and closed the door. These four weeks in this house are going to teach me to hold my bladder like I never have.
Day Three – Meeting
My Program Manager, Pilar, scheduled a meeting this day with my counterparts, the director of the health center and also encouraged them to invite other key people in the community. Due to this meeting, I did not go out on the jornada and was able to wash some of my clothes. This is such a physical activity, I cannot even explain it – but I kind of enjoy it. Needless to say I took two showers before 9:30am due to the amount of sweating I did during my clothes washing session. Normal.
I went to the high school before the meeting to talk with the director of the school to see if he could come to the meeting, but he wasn’t there. I waited for almost an hour while I was hit on a guy that I thought was a student. He is at least 4 inches shorter than me – and I opened the conversation by asking him what grade he was in. His reply was, “I am a teacher here.” Smooth Amanda, real smooth. He proceeded to recite poems about my eyes and told me I look like Angelina Jolie as I waited for the director. I finally gave up/wasn’t entertained by my short friend – so I returned for some lunch prior to my meeting with Pilar. The meeting was jam packed with people interested in working with me…and by jam-packed I mean it was the director of the health center, Pilar and me. I definitely did not feel like the health center director made any effort to have anyone else come – but I also understood that it was bad timing with the joranda going on and everything. The health center director kind of reminds me of Ursula from the Little Mermaid. Anyway, I guess it went well – it is still very vague what my role will be in the health center. My main counterpart is the community educator – but it appears that she is bogged down with working with TB clients in other communities. There is no presence in the schools and I have yet to see one charla given. The good thing about this – is that it does give me a wide-open opportunity to do anything.
So my first few days in town, I was doing a very sub-par job at feeding myself. But I quickly learned that this town is going to take care of me. There are already two families who will feed me at the drop of a hat – unprovoked. I just show up to say hello and they invite me in and immediately start feeding me. This is such a comfort and I am so thankful for both families. One family is that of the driver of the Health Center vehicle, Will. It all started by them asking me if I was getting fed by my host-mom and I explained that it was not part of our deal. Then they started realizing how often I was buying eggs – and became concerned. That is all I have cooked so far here – Ha. This night they gave me gallo pinto, cheese, tortilla and tomato. This is something I would have cringed at in my training town to see for dinner; I literally had to stop myself to breathe a little while eating because it was so amazing. Just like my mom says, it’s all relative.
I got to talk to Paula, the volunteer closest to me, and she invited me to Chinandega the next day. I was super excited to go to Chinandega and spend some time with her. I ended the night by going to a ‘cult’ or an Evangelical service/celebration. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. I went because I had been watching the little kids practicing their dance for it all week and wanted to support them (this is their only opportunity to dance – as it is forbidden in this religion). It was almost two hours long and the kids dance was less than 5 minutes. The majority of the service was a pastor yelling into a microphone which was followed by asking anyone to come forward who would like to accept God into their heart. I felt like he and everyone else was staring at me during this ‘call’ for a new disciple. Needless to say I had already made up my mind that this would be my first and last Evangelical service. After no one was willing to go to the front to accept God for the first time – they had anyone come forward who needed God at this time. There were about eight people of the church who would put their hands on the people and rock them back and forth, until eventually they fell to the ground. This was supposed to represent that God had entered his/her heart. People were crying and falling. It was madness. I am surprised no one got hurt. Somehow I stuck it out and waited for the service to be over – mainly because the guy playing the keyboard and singing was the hottest Nicaraguan I have seen to date.
Day Four – the Dega
Off to Chinandega! I traveled by myself the 45 minute bus ride there and it was fabulous after traveling in a group of twenty for three full months. The guy who thought I was Angelina Jolie ended up sitting with me until the first stop, Chichigalpa. Shortly after, a young woman moved back one seat to sit with me. She immediately started asking me questions about where I was from, what I was doing in Posoltega, the usual. She is a 28 year old, essentially single mom of a 11 year old boy because her husband is in the U.S. She was super excited about me being in Posoltega and immediately invited me to her home and pointed out her favorite discoteca that we should go to. I love meeting new people! Ha. She wrote down her address and phone number prior to getting off the bus. I met Paula and another volunteer at the Gas Station right near the bus stop. The Gas Station is ‘On the Run’ there are only five in the entire country – one in Chinandega and four in Managua. Gas stations here are … golden. It is so opposite of our culture. The bathrooms are amazing – it is air conditioned, has great food. I could have stayed in there forever. Ha. Both of these girls are Environment volunteers – Paula is from Virginia and Olenka from California. I found out that Olenka was actually going to my training town house to stay during a language taller this week! Small world. I told her to give my fam a hug for me in El Rosario. We spent all day walking all through the town and they were showing me the important places (bank, post office, grocery stores, etc.). It was really helpful to have someone show me all of these places for the first time. Both of them have only been into service four months – but already were very familiar with the city of Chinandega. My new mailing address is:
Amanda Levering
A.P. 115
Chinandega, Chinandega
Nicaragua, Central America
It will be so much easier to get mail and packages now – I am super excited. Three volunteers from my group ended up being in Chinandega too and we hung out for a little as well. It became really clear to me how key my location is in Posoltega. I am so close to two of the biggest cities in Nicaragua and Chinandega has the most volunteers as well. The ease of transportation is something that I will definitely continue to appreciate throughout these two years. I spoke with one of my friends in Quiali aka the mountains – and she is having the opposite experience with transportation and isolation. We all will have our own barriers and obstacles throughout this experience, for sure. But I am already thankful for these two things.
After returning to Posoltega, I showered and got ready for the Hilda’s little sister’s birthday party. En route to the party, I was stopped by a guy who kindly asked in Spanish, “Are you with Peace Corps?”We ended up chatting for nearly a half hour on the street (it was mainly him talking frantically) about how he had worked with a previous PCV and what a great experience it was. He also went into some detail about a project he is working on to get funding to better the water in Posoltega (apparently a great number of people have died due to kidney failure). I briefly told him that I was currently looking for a house and where I was living for the next three weeks. We exchanged numbers and he promised to start looking for a house for me.
I finally arrived at the birthday party and it was…bumpin. Ha. The father of Hilda was visiting from Leon and he and some other men were drinking heavily some Flor de Caña in the backyard. I played a serious game of freeze tag with the kids – and ended up covered in sweat. Apparently this meant that I needed a drink…a real drink. Ha. One of the men (whose house I was at) kept insisting that I have just one drink. I eventually accepted and sipped on it for about an hour. It was essentially rum on the rocks. It was incredibly awkward as I sipped this drink and a dozen kids and my evangelical women friends were watching. I am probably not shunned from the bible study group. No – they love me, but it was my first weird drinking experience. They tried to give me more drinks and I declined – insisting that I didn’t really like to drink (lies). I just will probably never be comfortable drinking here – because I need to be seen as a professional. Plus – my location permits me to drink in neighboring towns if need be. Ha.
I returned home, slightly buzzed from my small cocktail – expecting to have a fabulous sleep. To my dismay, I woke up around 2:00am to evenly paced scratching sound above my bed. I ran and turned on the lights, and through my still sleeping eyes, I am pretty sure I saw two rats ‘haciendo amor’ or making love. Ha. I made a lot of noise and broke up their love fest (I think they were teenagers), if for no other reason than I do not want any more rats. I am strangely getting used to things like this and went back to bed quite easily.
April 19th – Corinto
I met Craig and Paula at the ‘On the Run’ in Chinandega to head off to Corinto a.k.a. the beach. I was super excited to have a relaxing day on the beach. We got there around 11am and packed some peanut butter and jelly and cucumber and tomato sandwiches. I had been in Corinto once before during HIV/AIDS week, but the heat was nothing like it was this day. You literally could not walk on the sand; you had to run as fast as you could. I literally thought my feet were going to blister up on the bottom. I took a little walk by myself and checked out some of Corinto and took some photos. I am hoping more and more that I will be able to take more photos. If I haven’t used my good camera by the time my parents get here in July, I decided I will have them take it home. In the mean time I am just trying to be as creative as I can be with my little camera. We did not get back home late from Corinto – around 4:30-5:00pm.
I went to Kenya’s house immediately (the family and 24 year old girl I met on my site visit a month ago) because I heard that she was back for the weekend. We both yelped a little when we saw each other and I spent the rest of the night at her house. She wanted to file my nails and toes – so I gladly let her as I am going through pedicure withdrawal. She told me that she was now going to be living in Leon during the week because there are more opportunities for her there and she is provided with housing by her grandmother. Although I was disappointed she would not be in Posoltega, I also was happy for her that she had this opportunity to study and find work in Leon. It is so interesting to think about how she is choosing to leave this place and I am choosing to live here. It is much different to accept it as two years of your life – and actually living it. I still hope to maintain this relationship with Kenya and we made plans for Saturday that I would come to Leon with her little sister, Amanda.
Quickly before going home – Kenya accompanied me to talk to the owner of the room for rent that I had fallen in love with at first site. When I had first gone – the rest of the family was talking as if I was already living there saying, “This patio is your patio too,” etc. But when I talked to the Doña, or mother of the house, this night she said that the room was not available for rent because she and her husband were sleeping there currently. It was a very bizarre ending to the situation – but I had hope that something better was to come and my parents reassured me that it was not meant to be. After returning home slightly disappointed, I changed into my pajamas when the little girl told me two people were looking for me. I went to the door and it was Kenya and her little brother. We walked to the side of the house and they said they had talked to their mom and that I should not be worried about housing because I can stay with them. Kenya went on to say that I could sleep in her bed and use her things – because she has other things in Leon. She shares a room with her sister and brother. I was almost brought to tears when I thought about how this family – who is not rich by any means – is so willing to take me and take care of me. Whatever they have – they are willing to share it with me. It is moments like this, that I am reminded that humanity can be so beautiful. I went to sleep that night without a care in the world.
4/20
My sinuses have not bothered me at all here in Nicaragua – that is until I moved to the desert. It has not been too bad, but I have been sneezing and having sinus headaches. It is just so dry and SO dusty. The jornada was pretty boring this day and we went to one of the pre-schools. It was a lot less physically tiring and shorter as well. We got back to the health center around 12:30pm and I walked back to the house. I think this day was the hottest since I arrived here in Posoltega, and the walk was nearly unbearable. When I finally arrived at the house, Abel (the guy I met on the street who is in love with PC) was waiting for me. He invited me to go to Chinandega and also said that he had found a potential house for me. I was overwhelmed/dehydrated and all I wanted to do was shower. I told him to come back in about an hour and I would let him know if I could go. After taking a refreshing shower, within ten minutes I could not tell whether I was wet from my shower or soaked again in sweat. I decided I should go because I should be ‘integrating’ into my culture and also I felt like he could potentially be a project partner in the future. I got myself together after calling my sister and headed off to Chinandega with Abel. He has a base knowledge of English and is really excited to use it. This is borderline annoying for me – as much as I don’t want to admit it. I should be flattered that people want to learn my language, but… I’m not. It is really difficult to be switching back and forth from English to Spanish when I am trying very hard to improve my Spanish.
We went to his godfather or padrino’s house in Chinandega. His godfather had wireless internet and within five minutes of getting there he asked me if I wanted to call anyone in the United States. What a silly question – umm yes, please. Apparently he has a landline that is listed to Florida and he can call the US for free. Weird. So I called my parents and talked for a little while for free, which was beautiful. His godfather then made me some fabulously strong black coffee and told me to come by whenever I was in Chinandega. Yes and yes. Abel and I headed back around 5:00pm and went on to look at the house he had found for me.
Her name is Alba (they like A names in the family apparently) and she lives by herself right near the Catholic Church (I know…my evangelical friends will not like this). The outside of her house is quite attractive and has beautiful mahogany like doors. The inside has a huge sala or living room area. The room that I would be renting is a decent size and has two doors, one to the sala and the other to the patio area. Which brings me to my favorite part – her patio is … zen-like. It is so gorgeous an filled with every type of tree you can imagine. There was avocado, mango and many other fruits/veggies unique to Nicaragua. She also has a little garden with tomatoes and onions. She is a very chill woman and I immediately could tell I would like her. She has a lot of things that are not that common to Nicaragua homes, such as: a microwave, a toilet, and a fridge. Oh. And a washing machine. What is that. Although a washing machine saves a lot of time- I really do enjoy washing by hand – it is just more gratifying. Needless to say, I was very happy with the house. I asked questions about when I have friends visit from the states and she said “I will stay in my room – we can put up hammocks here in the sala and you guys can have your privacy.” Love. Her. My only concerns were that the roof in my ceiling was very old and possibly may leak and also that there were not electrical outlets in my room. She immediately said that she would get two outlets in there. I also asked about rats and she said that she fumigates every 6 months or so. Loving her more. She also has a bed that I will be able to use. I would just have to buy a mattress and something for my clothes. The rent is 1000 cordobas a month, which sounds like a LOT but it is only 50 dollars, and it includes water and electric. I also am sure that she will share the veggies and fruit with me – as she gave me some gifts before I left that night. The amount of money it would save me to not to buy a stove or a fridge is unbelievable – and this was beginning to look like a great option for me.
I returned back to my side of town and went over to my pulperia or store to grab some eggs to cook for dinner –but when I got there, the little girl said, “Come in!” So I went on through and ended up having the most fabulous meal I have had since I have been in Posoltega and watched my favorite telenovela. I know you are going to judge me – and its okay – because I am judging myself about watching it. It is all about drugs and sex and it is the worst television show I have ever seen. I find myself laughing at times when someone dies. These prostitutes smuggle drugs into other countries through their fake breasts. Ha. Go ahead, laugh. After spending a few hours with the fam, I headed back to my house. ]
The way that people are so welcoming and giving here reminds me a lot of my parents – and how they were always willing to take someone in and help them. I am so lucky to have grown up in a house like that.
Shortly after, the guy I had been communicating with about another house came over to invite me to talk to the owner of the house (I had already seen the house earlier in the week). It is two large rooms, completely private and my own bathroom and shower. She said that the price would be 1000 cordobas as well, but not including water and electric. Also, she would throw in a bed, a dresser, a desk and two rocking chairs.
That night I made a list of positives and negatives between the two houses (blame my parents for this nerdy trait).
Hump-Day
I was exhausted after such a long day on Tuesday, but headed off to walk to work at 7:30am. We went to a community called Santa Maria for the jornada and it turned out to be an even longer day. We did not return back to the health center until around 6:00pm. Did I mention we were walking the entire day? I did make it clear to my counterpart that I needed a responsibility during the jornada as opposed to just observing like I had on the previous outings. I was assigned giving out the pills for parasites – it was invigorating. No really, it was nice to have an actual role instead of just standing there; I was glad that I spoke up. At the end of the day I ended up speaking with a bunch of the nursing students who had previously just stared and laughed at me. They were really sweet and interested in what I was doing there. One thing I am having a difficult time with in this culture is that they hate silence. They will continually ask you if you are bored, sad, tired, etc. if you are not chatting it up with them. This is difficult when sometimes all I want is a break from speaking/thinking in Spanish. Needless to say, I made another friend, Bia (Kimmy you know I thought of you when she told me this), and she invited me to come to her house on Sunday and also to live with her and her family. Ha.
I called my parents that night for some advice about making a decision about the house. In the end, I came to decision that the house with Alba is definitely a better option for me, even if it is less privacy, etc. I will be able to make my little room ‘my own’ and spend a lot less money on things for the house.
22nd April
This day we went to a school and it was generally pretty easy besides restraining some kids so they could take their shots. Reminded me of how my parents met – at the Terry Center restraining juvenile delinquents. I started walking back from the health center, when one of the drivers of another health center truck asked if I wanted a ride. It was much appreciated on another particularly hot day. We both were going to the same comedor and ate lunch with each other. I had a difficult time getting it down – because it was more oil than I could stomach. When I went to go pay – the nice older gentleman actually paid for me and offered to drive me the following two blocks back to my house. I declined because I had recently seen a pulperia that sold ‘Coca-Cola Lite’ and wanted to treat myself to my first one in Posoltega. Kindness is such a good feeling – whether it is being received or given.
I decided I needed to wash some clothes because I wear at least two outfits per day (14 outfits per week!!). It was an intense session of washing clothes and I was out there for over two hours. One of the little girls came to tell me that one of the disgusting men across the street was watching me. When I looked over he was blowing me a kiss, while sitting shirtless on the curb. I yelled ‘ew’ and quickly finished my laundry.
That night I went over to talk to Hilda and it happened to be the time of another ‘cult’. I had already made up my mind and quite explicitly explained that I would not be attending. They were disappointed but I knew it was time…to break away from the church. I had a nice talk with Hilda that night about Peace Corps and what exactly I would be doing for the two years. She talked a lot about how she wished she had an opportunity to do something like this and go be a lawyer in another area. I have made a decision to not ever feel guilty or sorry for where I come from or the opportunities I have. I have decided to only be thankful and also sensitive to the fact that these opportunities are far and few between for people in this country.
23rd – broke as a joke
Oops. So I had budgeted the week pretty well – but then the host mom that I am living with me told me that she could not feed her kids and that she needed the rent immediately. Therefore, I was broke by Thursday. I had about 20 cordobas to my name- which would have gotten me one bottle of water for the day and no money. I decided that I would not be going to work this day and that I had to go to Chinandega to go to the bank. It is a weird feeling to not have immediate access to the money that you have – and to plan well in advance since the nearest bank is about an hour away (some people in northern Chinandega are more than 4 hours from the closest bank).
I took the morning to do some reading and headed to Chinandega around 10am. The taxi driver that was my first driver when I got into town last week has been giving me free rides whenever he sees me walking. Which is nice except that he is a creepy, old, fat man. He gave me a ride to the front of town to catch a bus on the main road. En route he asked if he could kiss my hand and take me to his finca or farm. I decided this was the last free ride I would be taking.
Roaming around Chinandega by myself was a lot of fun, the best way to get to know a place is to get lost in it. I bought a market bag to put all of my fruits and veggie in and more importantly I bought…a FAN!!!! My first big purchase was very worth it. Putting it together was a different story…it took over an hour and I was drenched in sweat. In the end there is still something not quite right with it and if you knock into it – it will fall. But I am sleeping so fabulously now and it works! That’s all that matters.
I returned back around 2:00pm to Posoltega, put together the fan and read in front of it for the remainder of the day. I finished my first book – A Long Way Gone – Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah. I finished it in less than 36 hours and it was excellent. I also attempted to straighten my room, aka but everything back into suitcases. Also, up until this point I thought it was very strange when I saw people sweeping their dirt floors. But after living in a dirt floor environment, I understand why they do it! Dirt floors really can get dirty. Ha.
Yesterday I went to a community that was very affected by Hurricaine Mitch and even went to the park that former President Clinton and former first lady Hilary Clinton funded, there is one tree for each person lost in the landslide. I will write more about that in the next blog because this is way too long!
But in closing – I have decieded to go with the house with the older woman, Alba. The security officer should be coming out next week to check it out and make sure it is suitable and passes all the regulations and what not. Wish me luck!
Also, I organized superlatives for the group and was voted Group Mom. Ha.
I hope everyone is well… I miss you all so much! I am headed off to Leon for the day.
LOVE YOU ALL <3
p.s. there are tornado´s here... of dirt. what.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
En mis ojos son Estrellas.
Hello everyone and Happy Easter/vacation! It is hard to believe that it has been three months since I have been here in Nicaragua. It feels like just yesterday I was drinking that fabulous champagne with Robin, packing with the girls and Des and watching our President be inaugurated. I hope that everyone is doing well and is holding those memories I was fortunate enough to share with you as close to your heart as I am. This will be my last blog as a Peace Corps trainee…because I will attending our swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday the 14th and officially be a Peace Corps Volunteer!
Pulgas.
So. Pulgas are … fleas. Seriously. Who has fleas? Oh wait…me. I discovered them last week and like any other illness here – it is difficult to tell where I got them from. The countless number of stray dogs here in Nicaragua carry them and they can easily be transferred to humans. I am not the first person in our group to get them – which somehow made me feel a little better. They look similar to the ‘allergic reaction’ I had after my volunteer visit to the mountains, but far, far less in numbers. The problem with this – is after you get them, they are very difficult to get rid of. They can live in clothes and especially in mattresses. It is sort of a snowball effect. My family here has helped a lot and put my mattress in the sun twice and also all of my clothes in effort to kill these little guys.
I had a little bit of a difficult time dealing with this ailment for the sole reason that I am sick of dealing with one after another. It is incredibly emotionally draining. You would think physically it would be the most challenging to deal with illness after illness, but it truly is the emotional aspect. The lack of control that I have over all of it – is very frustrating. I am just going to have to find ways to deal with this during my service – because it is clearly not an isolated incident.
Mail
I got a package each from Aunt Linda and Aunt Gail! Thank you so much! Funny story about that – in the package from Aunt Gail there was a trail mix which included Pistachios. I got a fair warning via e-mail to not eat the pistachios from the mix. I told my host-mom about it, salmonella and all, but she quickly said ‘Well they are bad for you Americans … but we have stronger stomachs. I am sure we will be fine!’ So throughout the week, my entire host family was eating these pistachios. Yesterday, everyone – including the three year old girl had serious stomach issues. I tried to warn them! Ha. Guess their stomachs aren’t that strong.
I also got a letter from Cathy Drew! That was so sweet and a lovely surprise! Number one mailers… Kimmy for her ridiculous cards and of course my parents! We are still missing one package that was sent in February, but I have faith that it is going to get here within the next week. I have to admit that the Girl Scout cookies that you sent are almost gone Mom. Ha. They almost lasted two days. All of the clothes and materials for my posters are perfect! Thank you again <3 you are the bestest.
Grupo de jovenes
Forming and running a youth group with three other leaders was definitely an interesting experience. In the end I learned a LOT both in general and on a more personal level. There were times throughout the experience when I dreaded going to our meetings (twice a week). More than anything I recognized things that I would different with my own group, such as; make rules in the beginning about respecting each other. Ultimately, we ended up completing two mini-projects within the community (we were required to do one). Our group of six gave charlas in the high school on HIV, STDs and Adolescent pregnancy. Then we got funds from the mayor (alcade) to paint a mural on the dirtiest building known to man. This building, glorietta, is in the middle of the park, in the center of town. Until this point, it had solely been used for any man to urinate in and draw obscene pictures on the outside (please see pictures posted on facebook to get image). The smell is only describable to those who had the misfortune to witness it.
Cleaning it was without a doubt the worst part of the process. It ended up only being a three day process, in total. And we completed a beautiful mural about… contraceptive methods. My life here is hilarious. Ha. I had huge doubts about how long this would last, but so far so good – people have urinated in the building – but other than that, no one has defaced the mural. We felt a great sense of accomplishment after finishing these two projects and the six teenagers came and presented to the rest of the group what they had done. I am not going to lie, I am glad it is over! But I do feel optimistic about forming my own youth group in Posoltega.
Español
So I received the same level of Spanish as my second interview in country (about one month ago). I think that is complete…BS, but oh well. We had the interviews Monday and received the results on Tuesday – which I thought was incredibly shady. The feedback did not consist of any specific examples of my errors and I feel that this level may have been determined by our teacher prior to the interview (which stinks because my interview was pretty fabulous). Well that is just all the more room to improve during these next two years. Also, without a doubt I feel confident in my ability to communicate in my community, which I did not feel when I walked off that plane January 22nd. I guess that is all I can ask for!
Ambassador
This past Wednesday we had the honor of meeting the U.S. Ambassador of Nicaragua, Robert Callahan. He was …amazing, fascinating and even more so…inspiring! As training has continued on, I feel that our group has become more and more negative. I have tried to separate myself from it – because I recognize it accomplishes nothing, but it has been difficult. Meeting Ambassador Callahan was so refreshing. He had such an incredible story and has lived an incredible life, traveling from country to country. In reality, we, as Peace Corps volunteers, are United States Ambassadors (on the grassroots level). He said that in the first paragraph of any letter from the President, is the reminder that the first job of a U.S. Ambassador is to get to know the community and culture of that you are living in.
He spoke quite frankly about the last eight years, regarding the United States, including: the government’s reaction to 9/11. His honesty and frankness was much appreciated when talking about his previous ‘boss’ and president of our country. He also spoke about the current political situation between Nicaragua and the United States. I am going to refrain from talking about this in a public forum, but it is getting very interesting. If you would like to hear more about what he said regarding this – just shoot me an e-mail and I would be happy to explain more.
Alcoholismo
When I first read that the alcoholism rate in Nicaragua was higher than in the United States, I had my doubts. Well… this has proved to be truer than I ever imagined. I never thought that walking by a man completely passed out in the road, with a bottle of the cheapest rum available in his hand, would be normal. There have been many times that I thought the man was actually not breathing that I passed by. I have seen pre-teen boys move a passed out 50+man out of the sun so that he does not burn to death in the park. Beyond upsetting. Hana’s host-uncle was a ‘recovering alcoholic’ for the first two months that we were here, and is now one of the men that I walk by, pondering if he is alive. She often finds him passed out on her porch as she walks into her house. He has been wearing the same shirt for over three weeks. Once a deep navy color, his shirt is now the palest of blues.
I have not decided if the rate of alcoholism truly is higher here, or whether it is just more visible. There is technically a law about drinking in public here, just as there is in the U.S. The difference is that it is not enforced. What good is a law if it is not enforced? This is a common theme here in Nicaragua. But just because America is able to send many alcoholics to jail and/or treatment, does it mean there is less of an incidence? This has caused me to think a lot about my job at Brandywine Counseling and I have talked about it many times with Hana and people of this community. What is more bothering here than anything is that it is an accepted part of their culture. It does not really affect anyone to pass someone barely breathing on the street. This is more foreign to me than the language.
taxing
I just wanted to make a quick mention of the neighbor of Brad (my fellow PCV). He is a very well-traveled man, I consider him incredibly worldly having lived in Israel, Africa and many other countries. While talking to Brad, he mentioned that he had visited Posoltega, and said to Brad, “I hope that Amanda is able to adapt there… it is one of the poorest towns I have seen and it will be very difficult.” Instead of bursting into tears, this actually comforted me. I thought maybe just the sheltered girl from Delaware was being too sensitive and dramatic – and that this site was not that bad. His statement was confirmation that this indeed is a very poor site, even for Nicaraguan standards. I had begun to question whether it was just me, but his comments actually comforted me and validated my feelings.
These two years are going to be difficult, but I am feeling more and more optimistic as the day approaches that I begin my two years of service in Posoltega. There is so much work to be done… and I am so ready to start! I don’t think I mentioned in the last blog that ten years ago, in 1998, Posoltega fell victim to a landslide provoked by the torrential downpours of Hurricane Mitch. Somewhere between 2,000 and 4,000 people died during this event (they were never really able to get an exact number, some predict more than 5,000). Members of the community have described it as ‘the world ending’ as this natural disaster swallowed two entire towns of my municipality. Needless to say, ten years later in the impoverished country – they are still very much affected by this event. At one of the NGOs in town, there are pictures of former president Bill Clinton directly after this event visiting the sites of destruction. This is the greatest natural disaster to occur in Nicaragua and is undoubtedly still affecting my community greatly.
Just a side note: we received a charla from US AID, and I found out that more than 75 percent of the birth control and condoms provided to Nicaraguans are through US AID aka… our tax money. So you all are actually helping fight the problems I am facing here in my work, HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy. So assuming that you pay your taxes, thank you!
I’m not a playa…
No that is not a quote from a Notorious B.I.G. song; playa is beach in Spanish. Which is where everyone goes during this week before Easter, otherwise known as Semana Santa here. Essentially the entire country shuts down and people flock to the beach. Ironically, it is also the most dangerous week to swim in a body of water in Nicaragua. Apparently, every year hundreds of people die of drowning during this week’s festivities. Other interesting facts about this week: for weeks now, people have been carrying around a somewhat Disco-Jesus. They call it ‘the procession’ of which they carry around Jesus and there is usually a fabulous band to accompany the procession. And by fabulous I mean... on the same level as Mr. Byerly’s intermediate band in 6th grade. This could actually be cute, minus the fact that they do it at all hours of the night. The first was literally at 4:00 in the morning. AM. En serio? There is one going on right now outside of my window, which is quite impressive considering they were up until 1:00am last night carrying disco-Jesus around.
I somehow convinced my host-mom (who hates the beach) to go to the beach for the day on Thursday. I was allowed to invite Hana and also the ama de casa or ‘maid’ came along with her two children. This woman, Almpuro, has proved to be my favorite person here in El Rosario. The conversations that she and I had when no one else was around – were my favorites throughout training. Also, whenever I was ill – she was incredibly more caring than my host-mom.
Anyway, this ‘playa’ was about 3 miles off the main road. After making it through all of the dust from the road, we made it to the playa. We then parked in someone’s yard (which oddly reminded me of the Delaware State Fair) and headed to the beach. Well I ran…because the amount of gnats and bugs was disgusting. Down by the beach, the bugs were far and few between. My entire family sat up in the shade and Hana and I baked down by the water. The water was not particularly clean and it was difficult not to run into a piece of trash while entering the water. It was way too hot to be concerned with that and I swam anyway. This ‘beach’ was actually on Lake Nicaragua. Nicaraguans don’t really differentiate between bodies of water.
Hana and I decided to go for a walk down to the more happening part of the beach. The true picture of Samana Santa was about to be viewed. A lot of drunk people (I think this observation combined with the fact that most Nicaraguans I have met cannot swim may something to do with the amount of drownings that occur). We went into one of the little cabana bars and it was quite entertaining. Only the drunkest people were dancing to the DJ music, which clearly was my favorite part. Hana and I were harassed, per usual, by all of the men. I think one actually got down on his knee begging me to dance with him. Normal. Right outside of the bar, there was a man passed out – and his friends were trying to perform drunken CPR on him. I did see that he was breathing, which made me feel a little bit better. Later, they would throw him into the water to wake him up. Fabulous. After a few beers (oh my GOD I miss good beer and ANY wine), Hana and I went to another bar. Within five seconds of entering, at least 7 guys swarmed our table like hungry bees and were asking us to dance. Within ten seconds of entering the bar….we left. Ha.
I knew that I was getting sun throughout the day and applied lotion several times throughout the day. Apparently…not enough. I think I technically could have been diagnosed with 1st degree burns. My lips are burnt, which is by far the worst part. Ouch! Hana and I have gone through an entire bottle of lotion (that we have been putting in the freezer), to help ease the pain. Hopefully it will fade by Tuesday’s swearing-in ceremony or I will look like a tomato!
Next phase..
So now the real work begins. Or at least the real part of my experience. These past three months have been amazing, but the reality is that these next two years are going to be very, very different. Everything is so micro-managed and scheduled during training and the volunteer experience is the complete opposite. I do not think I will have any problem keeping myself busy in my site. If you know me well, it will be more difficult to allow myself not to do anything. I do not know whether this is something I inherited from my parents or whether it is a cultural thing – but I am going to have to work on just letting myself sit and talk – because that is work here. I know the hardest part will be being far away from the people I have become closest to, particularly Hana.
So as I prepare to leave El Rosario, I have a strange mix of emotions. I am excited to be more independent, but I know I will miss my host-family here in some aspects. I am ready to start working and having more freedom, but I know I will miss some of the structure and support of being a trainee. I am anxious about living in Posoltega (the living conditions) but excited to start developing relationships within my community. I am SO ready to cook my own (more nutritious) food, but I know after a long day – I will miss someone having a plate ready for me. It is all so exciting and unknown – this experience really is about to start now! And I feel even more prepared than when I arrived in country about 90 days ago. When I am able to step back for a moment, I remember how incredibly lucky I am to be having this experience. Not only because getting into the Peace Corps is a ridiculous application process, but in other countries – many people do not get this opportunity. I am so lucky to live in a country that believes in serving humanity not just themselves. If I were to have gone with a different program or just gone abroad by myself, there is no way I could have possibly afforded it or really had been successful in giving anything sustainable to a community. I do have that opportunity here, within this organization. I am so blessed to have this opportunity – and with all my power, will try not to ever forget that.
In closing, I wanted to share with you the Promesa de Servicio, or Promise of Service, that I will be reciting during my swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday (in English).
In the name of God and for the understanding and friendship among people and Nations, I solemnly promise to work with dedication and enthusiasm in the tasks that are assigned to me, during two years, or during the time that I may stay in the country.
I promise to strive to secure bonds of affection and solidarity with the Nicaraguan people through mutual respect and sincere vocation of service.
For God, for Country, for Peace.
I am here representing all of YOU with honor…because you all are a part of me.
Happy Easter everyone. Love you all so much <3
I will leave you with this fun fact: I brought these amazing vacuum-sealed bags for my clothes to pack and save space. Obstacle I did not foresee: there are no carpets here… and therefore also an absence of vacuums. I just packed all of my things to move to my site and had to get creative. I sucked all of the air out of the bag with my… mouth. Still feeling a little lightheaded. Ha. So resourceful.
Pulgas.
So. Pulgas are … fleas. Seriously. Who has fleas? Oh wait…me. I discovered them last week and like any other illness here – it is difficult to tell where I got them from. The countless number of stray dogs here in Nicaragua carry them and they can easily be transferred to humans. I am not the first person in our group to get them – which somehow made me feel a little better. They look similar to the ‘allergic reaction’ I had after my volunteer visit to the mountains, but far, far less in numbers. The problem with this – is after you get them, they are very difficult to get rid of. They can live in clothes and especially in mattresses. It is sort of a snowball effect. My family here has helped a lot and put my mattress in the sun twice and also all of my clothes in effort to kill these little guys.
I had a little bit of a difficult time dealing with this ailment for the sole reason that I am sick of dealing with one after another. It is incredibly emotionally draining. You would think physically it would be the most challenging to deal with illness after illness, but it truly is the emotional aspect. The lack of control that I have over all of it – is very frustrating. I am just going to have to find ways to deal with this during my service – because it is clearly not an isolated incident.
I got a package each from Aunt Linda and Aunt Gail! Thank you so much! Funny story about that – in the package from Aunt Gail there was a trail mix which included Pistachios. I got a fair warning via e-mail to not eat the pistachios from the mix. I told my host-mom about it, salmonella and all, but she quickly said ‘Well they are bad for you Americans … but we have stronger stomachs. I am sure we will be fine!’ So throughout the week, my entire host family was eating these pistachios. Yesterday, everyone – including the three year old girl had serious stomach issues. I tried to warn them! Ha. Guess their stomachs aren’t that strong.
I also got a letter from Cathy Drew! That was so sweet and a lovely surprise! Number one mailers… Kimmy for her ridiculous cards and of course my parents! We are still missing one package that was sent in February, but I have faith that it is going to get here within the next week. I have to admit that the Girl Scout cookies that you sent are almost gone Mom. Ha. They almost lasted two days. All of the clothes and materials for my posters are perfect! Thank you again <3 you are the bestest.
Grupo de jovenes
Forming and running a youth group with three other leaders was definitely an interesting experience. In the end I learned a LOT both in general and on a more personal level. There were times throughout the experience when I dreaded going to our meetings (twice a week). More than anything I recognized things that I would different with my own group, such as; make rules in the beginning about respecting each other. Ultimately, we ended up completing two mini-projects within the community (we were required to do one). Our group of six gave charlas in the high school on HIV, STDs and Adolescent pregnancy. Then we got funds from the mayor (alcade) to paint a mural on the dirtiest building known to man. This building, glorietta, is in the middle of the park, in the center of town. Until this point, it had solely been used for any man to urinate in and draw obscene pictures on the outside (please see pictures posted on facebook to get image). The smell is only describable to those who had the misfortune to witness it.
Cleaning it was without a doubt the worst part of the process. It ended up only being a three day process, in total. And we completed a beautiful mural about… contraceptive methods. My life here is hilarious. Ha. I had huge doubts about how long this would last, but so far so good – people have urinated in the building – but other than that, no one has defaced the mural. We felt a great sense of accomplishment after finishing these two projects and the six teenagers came and presented to the rest of the group what they had done. I am not going to lie, I am glad it is over! But I do feel optimistic about forming my own youth group in Posoltega.
Español
So I received the same level of Spanish as my second interview in country (about one month ago). I think that is complete…BS, but oh well. We had the interviews Monday and received the results on Tuesday – which I thought was incredibly shady. The feedback did not consist of any specific examples of my errors and I feel that this level may have been determined by our teacher prior to the interview (which stinks because my interview was pretty fabulous). Well that is just all the more room to improve during these next two years. Also, without a doubt I feel confident in my ability to communicate in my community, which I did not feel when I walked off that plane January 22nd. I guess that is all I can ask for!
Ambassador
This past Wednesday we had the honor of meeting the U.S. Ambassador of Nicaragua, Robert Callahan. He was …amazing, fascinating and even more so…inspiring! As training has continued on, I feel that our group has become more and more negative. I have tried to separate myself from it – because I recognize it accomplishes nothing, but it has been difficult. Meeting Ambassador Callahan was so refreshing. He had such an incredible story and has lived an incredible life, traveling from country to country. In reality, we, as Peace Corps volunteers, are United States Ambassadors (on the grassroots level). He said that in the first paragraph of any letter from the President, is the reminder that the first job of a U.S. Ambassador is to get to know the community and culture of that you are living in.
He spoke quite frankly about the last eight years, regarding the United States, including: the government’s reaction to 9/11. His honesty and frankness was much appreciated when talking about his previous ‘boss’ and president of our country. He also spoke about the current political situation between Nicaragua and the United States. I am going to refrain from talking about this in a public forum, but it is getting very interesting. If you would like to hear more about what he said regarding this – just shoot me an e-mail and I would be happy to explain more.
Alcoholismo
When I first read that the alcoholism rate in Nicaragua was higher than in the United States, I had my doubts. Well… this has proved to be truer than I ever imagined. I never thought that walking by a man completely passed out in the road, with a bottle of the cheapest rum available in his hand, would be normal. There have been many times that I thought the man was actually not breathing that I passed by. I have seen pre-teen boys move a passed out 50+man out of the sun so that he does not burn to death in the park. Beyond upsetting. Hana’s host-uncle was a ‘recovering alcoholic’ for the first two months that we were here, and is now one of the men that I walk by, pondering if he is alive. She often finds him passed out on her porch as she walks into her house. He has been wearing the same shirt for over three weeks. Once a deep navy color, his shirt is now the palest of blues.
I have not decided if the rate of alcoholism truly is higher here, or whether it is just more visible. There is technically a law about drinking in public here, just as there is in the U.S. The difference is that it is not enforced. What good is a law if it is not enforced? This is a common theme here in Nicaragua. But just because America is able to send many alcoholics to jail and/or treatment, does it mean there is less of an incidence? This has caused me to think a lot about my job at Brandywine Counseling and I have talked about it many times with Hana and people of this community. What is more bothering here than anything is that it is an accepted part of their culture. It does not really affect anyone to pass someone barely breathing on the street. This is more foreign to me than the language.
taxing
I just wanted to make a quick mention of the neighbor of Brad (my fellow PCV). He is a very well-traveled man, I consider him incredibly worldly having lived in Israel, Africa and many other countries. While talking to Brad, he mentioned that he had visited Posoltega, and said to Brad, “I hope that Amanda is able to adapt there… it is one of the poorest towns I have seen and it will be very difficult.” Instead of bursting into tears, this actually comforted me. I thought maybe just the sheltered girl from Delaware was being too sensitive and dramatic – and that this site was not that bad. His statement was confirmation that this indeed is a very poor site, even for Nicaraguan standards. I had begun to question whether it was just me, but his comments actually comforted me and validated my feelings.
These two years are going to be difficult, but I am feeling more and more optimistic as the day approaches that I begin my two years of service in Posoltega. There is so much work to be done… and I am so ready to start! I don’t think I mentioned in the last blog that ten years ago, in 1998, Posoltega fell victim to a landslide provoked by the torrential downpours of Hurricane Mitch. Somewhere between 2,000 and 4,000 people died during this event (they were never really able to get an exact number, some predict more than 5,000). Members of the community have described it as ‘the world ending’ as this natural disaster swallowed two entire towns of my municipality. Needless to say, ten years later in the impoverished country – they are still very much affected by this event. At one of the NGOs in town, there are pictures of former president Bill Clinton directly after this event visiting the sites of destruction. This is the greatest natural disaster to occur in Nicaragua and is undoubtedly still affecting my community greatly.
Just a side note: we received a charla from US AID, and I found out that more than 75 percent of the birth control and condoms provided to Nicaraguans are through US AID aka… our tax money. So you all are actually helping fight the problems I am facing here in my work, HIV/AIDS and teenage pregnancy. So assuming that you pay your taxes, thank you!
I’m not a playa…
No that is not a quote from a Notorious B.I.G. song; playa is beach in Spanish. Which is where everyone goes during this week before Easter, otherwise known as Semana Santa here. Essentially the entire country shuts down and people flock to the beach. Ironically, it is also the most dangerous week to swim in a body of water in Nicaragua. Apparently, every year hundreds of people die of drowning during this week’s festivities. Other interesting facts about this week: for weeks now, people have been carrying around a somewhat Disco-Jesus. They call it ‘the procession’ of which they carry around Jesus and there is usually a fabulous band to accompany the procession. And by fabulous I mean... on the same level as Mr. Byerly’s intermediate band in 6th grade. This could actually be cute, minus the fact that they do it at all hours of the night. The first was literally at 4:00 in the morning. AM. En serio? There is one going on right now outside of my window, which is quite impressive considering they were up until 1:00am last night carrying disco-Jesus around.
I somehow convinced my host-mom (who hates the beach) to go to the beach for the day on Thursday. I was allowed to invite Hana and also the ama de casa or ‘maid’ came along with her two children. This woman, Almpuro, has proved to be my favorite person here in El Rosario. The conversations that she and I had when no one else was around – were my favorites throughout training. Also, whenever I was ill – she was incredibly more caring than my host-mom.
Anyway, this ‘playa’ was about 3 miles off the main road. After making it through all of the dust from the road, we made it to the playa. We then parked in someone’s yard (which oddly reminded me of the Delaware State Fair) and headed to the beach. Well I ran…because the amount of gnats and bugs was disgusting. Down by the beach, the bugs were far and few between. My entire family sat up in the shade and Hana and I baked down by the water. The water was not particularly clean and it was difficult not to run into a piece of trash while entering the water. It was way too hot to be concerned with that and I swam anyway. This ‘beach’ was actually on Lake Nicaragua. Nicaraguans don’t really differentiate between bodies of water.
Hana and I decided to go for a walk down to the more happening part of the beach. The true picture of Samana Santa was about to be viewed. A lot of drunk people (I think this observation combined with the fact that most Nicaraguans I have met cannot swim may something to do with the amount of drownings that occur). We went into one of the little cabana bars and it was quite entertaining. Only the drunkest people were dancing to the DJ music, which clearly was my favorite part. Hana and I were harassed, per usual, by all of the men. I think one actually got down on his knee begging me to dance with him. Normal. Right outside of the bar, there was a man passed out – and his friends were trying to perform drunken CPR on him. I did see that he was breathing, which made me feel a little bit better. Later, they would throw him into the water to wake him up. Fabulous. After a few beers (oh my GOD I miss good beer and ANY wine), Hana and I went to another bar. Within five seconds of entering, at least 7 guys swarmed our table like hungry bees and were asking us to dance. Within ten seconds of entering the bar….we left. Ha.
I knew that I was getting sun throughout the day and applied lotion several times throughout the day. Apparently…not enough. I think I technically could have been diagnosed with 1st degree burns. My lips are burnt, which is by far the worst part. Ouch! Hana and I have gone through an entire bottle of lotion (that we have been putting in the freezer), to help ease the pain. Hopefully it will fade by Tuesday’s swearing-in ceremony or I will look like a tomato!
Next phase..
So now the real work begins. Or at least the real part of my experience. These past three months have been amazing, but the reality is that these next two years are going to be very, very different. Everything is so micro-managed and scheduled during training and the volunteer experience is the complete opposite. I do not think I will have any problem keeping myself busy in my site. If you know me well, it will be more difficult to allow myself not to do anything. I do not know whether this is something I inherited from my parents or whether it is a cultural thing – but I am going to have to work on just letting myself sit and talk – because that is work here. I know the hardest part will be being far away from the people I have become closest to, particularly Hana.
So as I prepare to leave El Rosario, I have a strange mix of emotions. I am excited to be more independent, but I know I will miss my host-family here in some aspects. I am ready to start working and having more freedom, but I know I will miss some of the structure and support of being a trainee. I am anxious about living in Posoltega (the living conditions) but excited to start developing relationships within my community. I am SO ready to cook my own (more nutritious) food, but I know after a long day – I will miss someone having a plate ready for me. It is all so exciting and unknown – this experience really is about to start now! And I feel even more prepared than when I arrived in country about 90 days ago. When I am able to step back for a moment, I remember how incredibly lucky I am to be having this experience. Not only because getting into the Peace Corps is a ridiculous application process, but in other countries – many people do not get this opportunity. I am so lucky to live in a country that believes in serving humanity not just themselves. If I were to have gone with a different program or just gone abroad by myself, there is no way I could have possibly afforded it or really had been successful in giving anything sustainable to a community. I do have that opportunity here, within this organization. I am so blessed to have this opportunity – and with all my power, will try not to ever forget that.
In closing, I wanted to share with you the Promesa de Servicio, or Promise of Service, that I will be reciting during my swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday (in English).
In the name of God and for the understanding and friendship among people and Nations, I solemnly promise to work with dedication and enthusiasm in the tasks that are assigned to me, during two years, or during the time that I may stay in the country.
I promise to strive to secure bonds of affection and solidarity with the Nicaraguan people through mutual respect and sincere vocation of service.
For God, for Country, for Peace.
I am here representing all of YOU with honor…because you all are a part of me.
Happy Easter everyone. Love you all so much <3
I will leave you with this fun fact: I brought these amazing vacuum-sealed bags for my clothes to pack and save space. Obstacle I did not foresee: there are no carpets here… and therefore also an absence of vacuums. I just packed all of my things to move to my site and had to get creative. I sucked all of the air out of the bag with my… mouth. Still feeling a little lightheaded. Ha. So resourceful.
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